Why Luke?

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I screamed, sprinting for Monique, "Call 911 damn it" I yelled, picking her up off the ground. Niall called 911. I felt tears running down my cheeks Monique didn't have a pulse. I was screaming by the time the ambulance showed up "I'm her husband" Zayn said "I'm her best friend" I said the EMT wasn't going to let me in with her "are you related to her?" he asks. "I don't give a flying fuck if I'm related to her! I'm going with her damn it!" I screamed. He let me in reluctantly. They started trying to get her breathing again. They rushed her into the hospital. "Get her breathing!" the EMT's yelled. Me and Zayn had to stay in the waiting room. I looked over to see tears running down Zayn's face. He whimpered running his hand through his hair. Hugging his knees to his chest. Niall and Luke arrived shortly after. "She doesn't have a pulse" I wailed. Luke's face goes pale he looks like he's about to vomit. "S-s-she s-saved -mme" Luke says, tears running from his blue eyes. He collapses in a chair. Holding his face in his hands, whimpers and sobs escaping his mouth. He runs out the door crying. Seeing Luke cry is like seeing a baby die slowly and painfully. I just stayed there crying into Niall's chest.
Luke came back later his eyes red and bloodshot from crying. I saw a rust colored line on his long sleeved shirt. I walked towards him and pulled up the sleeve quickly, revealing many many cuts, self induced. He yanks it down, as I gasp, the cuts hadn't scabbed yet, they look like he'd just run a razor up and down his arm quickly, again and again. I wince at the thought. He starts crying again "It's my fault, it's all my fault." The doctor walks out......

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