Dirty Little Secret [5SOS]

15: A Reason to Smile

I peeled my eyes open as a bright light hit them. Is it morning already, I think to myself. I stayed up all night and really didn’t feel like getting up, so I stayed put. I had no reason to get up and no desire to. After a few hours of warmth from the sun on my face, something blocked its rays and I turned back into the darkness. I thought about plenty of things that night: dying my hair back to blonde, calling Christian, texting him, going to find Ashton, curling up with Michael, getting up and running away, making some food, realizing I’m not hungry, wondering what time it is, (It was around 1:14am when I sat up and checked) considering calling Christian again, wondering what the next day would hold, and how I could get out it so I could just lay in bed all day. Around ten, I heard motion in the house. After half the hour, I heard Luke and Calum leaving. After another half an hour, the house grew silent again and I figured Ash and Michael went to the backyard studio. I waited a few more minutes and then dragged myself out of bed by curiosity. I quickly changed into some sweats and threw on one of my really old jumpers that I had before I met Christian. I tied my hair back again and slipped the snapback on, still self-conscious about my hair. I skipped food because I still didn’t feel like eating and made my way to the back. I quietly knocked on the door and someone quickly opened it.

“You must be Payson. Michael said you’d be stopping by, Sleeping Beauty,” a tall man in a messy t-shirt with a sloppy composure told me and let me in. I gave him a weird look because I’m nineteen and he’s probably late thirties. I walked past him and saw two other guys sitting with Ash and Michael. I was kind of in a weird mood, so I did what I always do and sat close to Michael. I curled up my legs onto the couch and leaned into his cozy, cream jumper. He smiled at me and threw his arm around me, stroking my back. Michael was such a good cousin and I honestly don’t give him enough credit for it. I rubbed my eyes and tried to listen in on what was being said. It was mostly music related things so naturally I didn’t understand a thing. They were all taking about this song that I think was called “Wherever You Are”. Apparently Ashton had written it and the melody they we're playing sounded amazing. They were still working on it, but never less it was really good. This is what Ashton was probably working on last night. Ashton and I hadn’t made eye contact at all this morning because he was really busy talking to one of the guys.

“What’s going on,” I finally whispered to Michael.

“Guy and Ashton are trying to find the right notes for the bridge. You don’t have to stay and listen to us work.”

“I want to, though. I like watching you do something you love,” I smile and look at how Ashton just talks and gets so enthusiastic about the music. I can feel Michael watching me watch him, but I honestly don’t care.

“If you think he’s enthusiastic, you should see Calum; he loves writing songs.”

“Really? Calum?”

“Absolutely. If I had anybody write a song, it would be him. But this song Ash is working on is absolutely amazing. He’s sang some of the rough versions before and he really has put his whole heart into it. He must really love the fans.”

“The fans?”

“Well, I’m assuming it’s about the fans because it can’t be about a girl.”

“Really.” I leaned back into the couch as they called Michael over to review some of the notes. I sat and watched them work for a good hour. They have lots of papers scattered around the room and everything they play sounds amazing so I only assume they’re doing well. I learned all their names as they called them out and ended up talking to them as they worked. The one at the door was Judas (their main sound booth guy and former DJ) and the other two are Guy (a music producer and former musician) and Rodger (a professional lyricist). Michael was currently working with Guy and Judas as he recorded some guitar and Rodger went inside for coffee so it was just me and Ashton on the couch. “The song’s really good.”