The Roommates

22.

           

Anne knocks at the door and tells us dinner is ready.  I get up, but Harry grabs my waist and pulls me down on his lap as he hugs me tight and kisses my back repeatedly.  He acts so sweetly, he makes me forget we are not alone in this world. 

« You need to let me go if you want to go eat. »  I say turning my head to the side, trying my best to look at him.

« I don't care, I don't ever want to let you go.  I'll die with you in my arms. »  He jokes and it makes me giggle.

« Harry, come on. »  I say gently as he becomes serious.

« Once we eat, you'll leave me and I don't know if I'll ever get to have you all to myself again. »  He whispers and puts his forehead against my cheek.

« I'm still your best friend, we'll get to have moments together like before. » 

« But I won't be able to kiss you, to hold you or to tell you how much I love you... »

Gemma barges in the room without knocking and surprises us.

« Dinner is ready...  What are you guys doing?! » She asks once she looks at us.

« Your brother is just messing with me, not letting me go to eat. »  I joke trying to make it sound innocent.

« Well, let her go Harry.  A girl needs to eat. »

« Yeah Harry!  You know how I love food and I can jump on anything that's not vegan or made with beans! »  I joke and I'm glad it makes him laugh too.

He lets me go and I follow Gemma out of the room, but I stop to look at him.

« We are going to talk about all of this before I go.  I promise. »  I say to him before heading to the dinning room.

I look out the window and the snow storm is still heavily blinding the view.  What time is it?  I take my phone out of my pocket.  It's 6:23 PM.  Oh no!  It doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon.  What am I going to do?

« I looked at the weather channel, Love, and they are now saying it will snow until 11 PM.  I'm so sorry. »  Anne says as she serves each of us a plate.

« It's not your fault.  It's OK.  I'll wait.  I hope you have coffee though. »  I try to joke, but it really sucks.  I need to stay another five hours here...

« I think you better call your parents, because I really don't want you to get back on the roads that late.  I would prefer you to stay here for the night.  If they agree with me, I'm sure you can find a place to sleep here. »

« I'll think about it, thank you Anne. »  I say to her, but I really can't stay here tonight, not after what Harry told me.  « This looks delicious. »

Somehow, Gemma got back to Harry's room when we talked as they are both joining us now.

After dinner, Anne proposed that we'd all head outside and play in the snow as maybe a foot of it has now fallen.  I don't have any suit with me, but she manages to find me one and boots too.  I put them on with my winter coat.  Harry lends me a beanie, a scarf and mits.  They smell just like him as he makes sure to cover my face with the scarf and tie it tightly so that I don't get cold. 

His grin is so happy and beautiful.  I still can't believe he was feeling the same things I did.  I always thought he was out of my league, too good for me and that someone as beautiful as him wouldn't even care about me.  I know he isn't shallow, but I always thought it was one sided. 

But what did I feel for him?  I know I felt something and it's undeniable that I still do and I feel terrible about it.  When he kissed me earlier, it all came back, all the feelings I ever feel for him.  The heart racing, my stomach holding its breath, the fulfillment, he challenges me, he completes me, he understands me, but more importantly, he is always there for me.  These are real feelings.  But am I in love with him or in love with the feelings?  I don't want to lose him as a friend.