The Roommates

34.

I think I haven't slept more than an hour last night. Having Louis so passionately angry at Harry and I... at me, more precisely, makes me sick. I have realised just how much I care deeply for him along with the rest of the boys. He is like a brother to me. It just happens that he cares more for Liam and that is understandable. I just hated so much that he would see Harry like this player and not the one he really is. He knows him. We all know how pure hearted and funny and caring he is with everyone in this house. Why would Louis think he would treat the woman he loves differently? I am so lucky I get to be that woman.

I cried all the tears in my body until my eyes were dry. Niall eventually came knocking at my door with ice cream as a piece offering. It made me smile and cry some more to realise how deep our bond is. He suggested that we watch a movie together. I denied it quickly, but when he threw in the offer a back rub, I couldn't refuse anymore.

I spent the night in Harry's bedroom, wrapped up in his sheets, wearing his shirt, smelling his perfume and looking at the ceiling with a light open. I got lost in my thoughts about everything Harry and I have talked about in the hospital. Seeing how both Louis and Liam now hate me, why would I stay? Where would I go? Would Harry follow me? I want him to. But if we are being realistic, how could we make it happen? I would surely miss the boys too much, even if they hate me. I can barely see how I would have survived these last couple of days without Niall by my side since Harry is still in the hospital.

What has actually happened to him? Harry. I never got any details of the accident, just that I was pregnant, that we lost our child and that Harry seems to be hurt worse than me. Why?

I tossed and turned all night, my head clouded with unanswered questions. It seemed like I had slept for five minutes when my alarm went off. I had turned it off, but stayed in bed looking at the ceiling without moving a single finger. Niall had to get me moving this morning as well. He has made me breakfast and brewed me a fresh hot cup of coffee that I have sipped in the car on the way to the hospital before heading to University after.

"I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough for all you have done for me, Ni. I have brought you nothing but drama and you have shown me the biggest of support. I don't deserve all that at all." I let out with a sigh as I look outside my window, my warm cup resting on my lap.

"You are like a sister to me, Robyn. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You don't have to thank me. I know how hard it has been for you."

"I know, but all your best friends hate me. Louis was right. I have been nothing but drama."

"He didn't mean it. You are one of us and you shouldn't doubt your place." I feel his gaze on me, but I still keep looking outside as the shape of the hospital is drawing itself on the horizon.

Am I really one of them? This question has been eating me alive all night. It all comes back to if I should leave the house. Liam comes back in two days and I need to figure out my shit before then. I need to make plans with Harry. I just need to talk to him. I need to calm down, like he knows how to make me.

Niall parks his car next to the hospital and I get out of my train of thoughts quite abruptly. I put my mug in the cup holder and get out to follow my friend. The air is cold and crisp and I lose myself in my thoughts again. I can't wait to have Harry back by my side. I miss having someone to talk to. I feel like I am poisoning myself with everything going on in my head. I can feel myself literally going insane. Nerves are eating me alive and I really hate feeling that defeated and on the edge of a panic attack.

I walk through the automatic doors of the building and walk my usual way to the lift. That's only then that I notice the bag Niall is carrying with him.