My Roommate, The Fukboi (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 32

* Calum's POV *

Where do I start.....??

I broke him.

I didn't mean to.

I thought I was showing him how much he meant to me and how much I cared about him but I ended up causing those terrible memories to come back and I broke him. I couldn't help him, all I could do was hold him.

I will never admit it again but I cried. I cried and sobbed with him, his pain hurting me more. To just hear him so hurt, so badly hurt, it killed me.

Don't hurt me.

Why would I ever hurt you, my love? I've loved you more than I've ever loved anyone but I've hurt you more than I could've imagined.

You always fuck everything up Calum.

I felt him climb out of my arms and I heart his soft footsteps as he made his way to the bathroom, away from me. I didn't move though. I didn't follow him and ask if he was better. I just laid there, eyes closed, wondering what I could've done instead. Of how my life would be without him.

I heard the faucet turn on and I heard him brush his teeth. But I still didn't move.

You say you love him, yet you bring back all his pain.

I'll never admit this again either but I cried again. I rolled over onto my back and I covered my face with my hands as more tears spilled out. Oh how much pain I've caused, only to be returned with ten times worse. Is this how love is supposed to work? Pain?

I heard the shower turn on. If I just lay here....would it go away?

I know what he's feeling. All the pain from the abuse of bullies. I know because every night I'd go through the same thing. Drunk beatings, always at night. It hurts me so much because I know how he feels and I know how much pain he's going through and I hate it because I hate seeing him suffer.

I wipe my face and I stare up at the ceiling. I decide to sit up and wait for him to get out. I should probably get ready for school.

I don't know how I could think about school in a moment like this but I knew he'd want to go and I wasn't going to argue with him.

I sigh and tilt my head back. I push down all the sadness and stuff it in a bottle for later.

I hear the shower turn off. How do I explain how I feel?

I tried getting up but my muscles were sore. I heard shuffling in the bathroom. He's almost done. How do I face him?

I rubbed my eyes again and then closed them tightly together. The bathroom door creaked a little as it opened. I didn't hear anything for a bit.

He's not going to speak to me. He's going to kick me out. He's going to put me on the streets.

I hear his footsteps walk over from around the other side. He walks over and he stops in front of me. I can't look up. He kneels down. Don't open your eyes.

He hugged me.

I sigh and I wrap my arms around him. "I'm sorry." I whispered, another tear falling. I don't think I'll be able to handle it again if he ever breaks down like that again.

"It wasn't your fault." He whispers back, his wet hair tickling my ear. I bury my face in his shoulder and I let out another shaky breath.

"Yes..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I caused it. I brought it all back. I know what he felt and I would've never wished that abuse on another human being, yet I brought all of his pain back.