Forever Swan

Chapter 4 ~ On My Mind

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Jen's P.O.V.

I knew that I couldn't let my feelings ruin the show, so I decided the best start would be to apologise to Colin. I knew that I could never tell him how I felt, or kind of thought I felt, but I could at least explain to him half the reason why I was so upset.

I texted him

Hey, sorry for earlier. I owe you an explanation. I'm in my trailer.

I got a response pretty quickly, and immediately regretted inviting him. But I knew it had to be done.

It's okay Swan. I'm on my way.

I tried to make myself look half presentable, which is pretty difficult when your eyes are all puffy from crying. A couple of minutes later there was a knock on my door.

I opened it and let Colin in. He immediately wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know-"

"It's okay." I smile weakly. "Sit down."

He handed me a sandwich. I looked at him questioningly.

"Lunch!" He grinned.

I shook my head. He had already been able to make me smile, and he hadn't even been here for five minutes.

I sat down opposite him and started to explain. I told him everything. About Jesse. The engagement. The fight. Sebastian. For some reason he was just so easy to talk to.

By the end I was in tears again, but I felt so much better. It was the first time I had told someone everything, beginning to end. Of course Ginny knew, but she was there with me.

He came and sat next to me and out put an arm around me. He held me close. "It's okay. It might not feel like that now, but I promise you it will be okay." He whispered.

My stomach still did that thing. But now I had an explanation. That couldn't be fixed.

He can only ever be a friend.

I could never tell him how I felt, no matter how great a friend he was. He had a happy life with his wife and his son. I couldn't bear to drag him into my mess.

"You a little better now?" He smiled, rubbing my arm gently.

His touch made my whole body tingle.

I let out a deep breath I hadn't even realised I was holding. "Yes." I smiled, gratefully. "Thank you."

A couple of days passed, and I didn't see Colin much. We were both busy with our separate scenes, and didn't get much of a chance to talk.

Then, a couple of weeks later, we were shooting the scene where Emma and Hook took out the Giant at the top of the beanstalk with poppy dust.

Before we shot the scene, Colin came up to me. "You ready?" He asked.

My stomach flipped. It really needed to stop doing that.

"I think so. You?"

He smiled. Ugh. "As ready as I'll ever be."

What was that supposed to mean?

We went into the studio and got into position.

"Hook? Hook!"

"He's out cold." Colin smirked and looked me in the eyes. "I don't mean to upset you, Emma, but I think we make quite the team."

There was something in his eyes I couldn't quite see.

"Let's go steal a compass."

***

Although Colin would never know how I felt, I still loved being around him. He was one of my closest friends, even though I was hiding my secret from him.

I had to try and stop thinking about him in that way. He was unavailable.

Perhaps that was what Ginny meant. She said when you love someone you know.

But why did love hurt so damn much?

***

In between takes one day, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I needed advice.

I knocked on the door of her trailer. She opened.

"Hey Lana, sorry to disturb you, but I seriously need advice."

She smiled. "It's no problem. Come on in."

I sat down. "It's Colin."

Lana was my second closest friend on set, apart from Ginny, and I knew she could help me.

"I don't know what do do." I sighed. "I have tried to stop my feelings, but I can't. Not when I spend so much time around him."

Lana thought. "I would say try and distance yourself from him, but... that's gunna be pretty tricky."

"Would I be a home wrecker if I told him?"

"Not if he didn't feel the same way."

"If that were the case I would be a self wrecker."

Then I swore to myself I would never tell him if it meant breaking up his family. I couldn't bear to be the cause of misery. I had no choice but to keep it a secret.

***

It was nearing the end of season two.

One day while I was in my trailer I got a phone call. It was Adam.

"Hey Jen. We are having a meeting in studio A. It's about season three. Meet us there in half an hour?"

I smiled. Finally, the news we had all been waiting for.

We were all excited to find out what they had to say about it. We gathered around Adam and Eddie.

"We are happy to announce," smiled Eddie. "That season three has been confirmed and will be going ahead!" We all smiled and clapped.

"We called you all together to explain the basic plot." Adam told us. "In the last episode of season two, the characters will travel to Neverland." This announcement caused some whispers. "There, we will meet Peter Pan, and Hook will be more involved. Also there will be some stronger love interests developing. The main one being Hook and Emma."

I blinked. They were actually making Hook and Emma a thing. I looked at Ginny, to see she was already looking at me, wide eyed.

After the meeting I went up to Ginny and Lana.

"They're making it a thing?!" Ginny whispered.

"Are you gunna be okay Jen?" Lana asked.

"I..." I started. "I honestly have no idea how this is going to go."

I know this is kind of short and rubbishy but I need to get onto season 3 for my plan to work and I don't really know but yeah oops. Vote if you liked it (and on previous chapters) so I know what you guys like.

A xx