The Scream Behind The Screen {Markiplier X Abused Reader} [First Draft]

The Silent Night

"Silent night, holy night," My melodic voice sailed on each note. I sat on the concrete floor, right in the backyard porch, toes in the grass, thinking about how he is holding up. "All is calm, all is bright."

I brought the can of my favorite soda to my mouth when I heard an Irish.

"Are you okay?" I turned to see Jack leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed, eyes concentrating on me, possibly questioning everything about me in this moment.

"Yeah," I go back to my drink, reassuring him after I wipe my mouth with the back of my wrist. "I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," he sat next to me. "You are staring into the sky, all alone, singing. You disappeared right after Mark left. I got worried."

"I'm sorry..." It's written on my heart, I wish I could say it to him. That I'm sorry for being so hurt. That I try to repress everything, repress all the memories and try to pretend nothing happened. That I want to forget I ever met Jude. That I am sorry for making my mistakes, mistakes no one I knew made nor corrected nor learned from. I'm all alone in this.

His arm draped around my shoulders and brought me closer. "You aren't alone anymore, I promise you that."

"Please stop," my lip quivered. "Please don't promise me anything. I already have a collection of broken promises to last me a life time."

I felt his eyes trying to piece together the puzzle that I am. His eyes are surgical blades, cutting open my brain in a futile attempt to dissect the memories from my words, to find a diagnosis of my feelings behind my voice.

"Have I told you about my friend I call Gigi?"

Surprised by the sudden subject change, I go with the flow. "No, I don't recall..."

"She is an amazing girl. I think, personally, she has a very interesting character. She's been ran over at every turn life threw at her, been mauled to near death by a tiger known as her past, thrown to the side like trash, staying for the same people she loves who hurt her, nothing at all is working out for her. Not a single thing." He leans back, removing his arm to support himself. "I admire how she still puts on a brave front, still smiles, still laughs. The past is her ball and chain, but she doesn't let that stop her."

"She sounds strong." My hand drew circles in the air with the can, listening to the 'sugared water' swirl around at the bottom, not really paying any real attention to his dialogue. "How long have you guys been friends?"

"Around... " He tilted his head back, thinking, "the last time she ran away. I found her at the park, right before she ran into the street."

I punched his arm, making him laugh. "Jerk." At least he made me smile. 

"Just realize you are fighting for a good reason." Leaning a bit forward, he rested his elbows on his knees. "At least promise me that much, okay?"

"I don't want to promise something and break it." It's true. I don't want to cause hurt because I've failed my word. I don't want to harm anyone with a broken promise.

"Then give me that false hope."

Shocking me with the urgency in his tone, I studied him, wondering if I misread him. 

"I can't promise you that I'll come to that realization..." I looked away, feeling a hint of guilt and shame. "I can't say anything about me is good. I can't say I'm strong. I can't say any of that. I'm worthless..."

Inhaling, I was suddenly in his embrace, my face buried in his shoulder. 

"Please promise me." He held me tighter with every shaking word that escaped his lips. "Please stop believing those lies. Maybe they became the truth to you, but you have to listen to me. I won't lie to you. Please stop saying that. You are not worthless. Whoever told you that you're worthless are wrong. They don't know you like Mark or I do. I don't know how long  you had to fight all alone, trust me now when I say you aren't alone anymore. Please stop talking bad about yourself. You went through hell. No one would be the same."

He's shaking. "Please just trust me now... Trust me that I won't lie to you."

"I was abused by my parents." I started. "Ella tried to do everything to protect me. I took parts from a story and changed the roles so people thought I had normal parents who deserved happiness and I suffered a tragedy of their loss. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be free from that stereotype... I don't want to be like my parents, yet everyone in the whole damned world said I'll be just like them. And I don't. I want to be free from that."

Silence fell in between us. Jack ripped it up before I could feel awkward or strange. "I don't know what you have been through, just don't regret what you have done because that's what you felt in that moment." He released me from his embrace, meeting my eyes as his hands gripped my shoulders. "You need to see that whatever you did, you did it to survive."

I don't feel like I did it to survive. I hurt a lot of people. I lied to people, trying to make them not worry. I tried to make them see if I do go down, I don't want to take anyone with me.

I feel seventeen again. I used to have talks like this with Addaline and Mark. We hung out somewhere and talked, trying to help each other out of the other's pain. Sometimes I regret not telling them the reason why I was acting strange. Then again, I have a feeling they knew something was off or wrong, not out of the ordinary enough to really put effort into finding the source of it.

"How are you doing?" His voice dragged me back. He leaned back again, staring at the sky.

"I'm alright." I say, not entirely believing myself.

"Are you really alright?"

"Yes. I am."

He exhaled heavily. "Your mother called."

My neck almost snapped on the account of how fast I turned my head to look at him. "What?"

"She called Mark before he left. She said she wants to mend your guys' relationship."

"What did he say?"

"He said you were still in a coma."

"Good." The bitterness and fear, that long lie dormant, started to wake from its slumber. "I want nothing to do with that woman."

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I got severely sick after the last update. I am sorry! Plus the site hasn't been working and I'm still not alright (in a sense). But hey, as long as I see tomorrow, I will smile and I will fight to stand on my two feet.

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Okay, so it's a mess for the story right now, but trust me, I can be creative in mending the gaps. :)

You have a wonderful day/amazing night!