Ending Page

~Reminincing~

Victoria's P.O.V.

It's been, almost a year since Chase and I got back here in this house, I didn't realize how fast time was when we're here. Things got sloppy and also chaotic but I'm happy to also feel was able to realize my mistakes and was able to learn new things, my hardships and problems we're a blessing in disguise, they all came to me to make me stronger and to make the real me to come out...

"A penny for your thoughts?" A smile tugged on my lips as I heard Charles voice, I turned around and looked at him who was carrying glasses of wine in each hand. Well, I'm currently here in the balcony, thinking about all the things I've been through, Charles was sleeping earlier and since I couldn't sleep I came here alone and tried to have some fresh air.

"You're offering me a wine because?"

"So you can relax, you look very stressed just by staring at your back view. Is everything okay?" I took the wine glass from him and slowly faced the balcony again, we both started at the horizon as I refused to speak just for a short while. Charles knows that I'll still be going to answer his question, but he also knows that I just need time to formulate the right sentence...

"It's quite funny, to suddenly see myself back here in your house when I promised to never even go back, nor take a step here in this house, it's funny to realize that sometimes, what we promised to never do don't really come true"

I took a sip of the wine, not looking at Charles as I was quite embarrassed to suddenly open up a talk about this... About us... It's been almost a year and yet we're still not talking about us... About what we really are now. And I think... This is the right time for us to tell each other how we truly feel, to disregard everything and just only think of us...

"I'm sorry"

I heaved a sigh and slowly smiled, a lone tear fell from my eye. I tried to stop my tears and luckily I was able to control them... I didn't know that my tears will suddenly flow out like this.. I thought I'm stronger than before, but it seems like whenever I'm infront of him, I'm always vulnerable...

"This is our first time ever going to talk about our marriage and our relationship, so I want to take this time to formally talk to you, not as your husband but as a man whom you once loved and once trusted"

"I know I wasn't the perfect man, I wasn't the perfect husband and importantly not the perfect father for Chase, I know that you'll get really hurt but I didn't care, I was very insensitive and didn't care of what you'd feel back then"

Yeah, he did, he knows how hard it is for me to cope up with all the pain and cold shoulders he gave me. All the time I was always alone, I was always left in one corner, crying, all day, all night thinking that I wasn't enough, thinking that I wasn't the one for him. Everyday I tried to be the best wife, the best woman for him, but it seems like it's not working out... I'm just forcing myself to be someone who I am really not.

"I'm sorry Tori, I'm sorry for forcing you to be with me and trapping your life with mine, I'm sorry that I had to bring you back"

And then when he brought me back to the same house... The the same place where I had nightmares, when I was neglected, when I was all alone... I grew angry at him, I was blinded by all the hatred I could feel, that I thought of leaving him again. But then I saw my son, I saw happiness an hope in his eyes which I never saw before, I saw him and then I instantly knew, that I'm not in the position to take what's Charles' rights to his son. He's a father too, he's a parent, and I know how hard it is for a parent to not be a part of his son's or daughter's life is...

"But that's the only thing that could make me live, that's the only thing I can do to bring you back to me because I realized how much I love you"

"Maybe we really do realize that we love someone when they're gone"

When I was a child, I never believed in those quotes, because if you really live someone, you shouldn't wait for him or her to be gone just to realize that you are madly deeply in love with that certain person. How can you live him or her when you know that she's already gone? That she already left, that she was already done from all the pain and sufferings she had... But now, I realized what the quote truly meant, that even if two people left were separated, those two can still be together and bring back all the happy memories they had. They can bring back the love they promised to give to each other.

"I wasn't really honest with you Charles, there were times that I wanted to quit our marriage because I thought I was never enough, I thought I wasn't worthy to be someone to stay with you. I was scared, that maybe you're already tired of being with me. I was very scared to know the truth because I thought I would lose you"

"But in the end I lost you" I nod my head at Charles' remark, out hearts are both filled with regret and pain, now, we're both slowly trying to mend each other's broken heart.

"I guess one must lose each other as we need time, we need time to heal and think" He added, we needed all the time in the world to be back again...

"We did, and I realized that until now, you're still the one I'm searching for, the one I'm yearning for, and the one I love"

Charles slowly reached out to me, he caressed my check, wiped all the tears that fell and then slowly, went closer to me. Pressing his lips with mine, feeling his warmth and the love he ought to give...