Chapter 45

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I have mixed feelings on who I love more in this chapter.

Sorry for the late update, I wasn't feeling it lately and was a bit stressed. I hope this chapter makes up for it! 

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It was a little past two in the morning over at Kaneki's apartment; Kaneki kneeled down next to the tub scrubbing away the dried blood on Izuki's body as he sat down in the warm water around him. The water was a slightly pinkish red tone as the blood washed off.

"I better hurry and get you to bed before your mom finds out. She'll kill me if she knew I had you," Kaneki says to Izuki as he dumps warm water onto Izuki's soapy hair. Kaneki was a very good father even though he hasn't raised a kid in a few years, he was very gentle.

"You don't mind if I call you dad right?" Izuki asks as he raised his arms for Kaneki to scrub and wash. "I don't mind, I am your dad after all," Kaneki responds, moving onto washing Izuki's back.

It was silent in the apartment, all that could be heard was the splash of the water as Kaneki poured it onto Izuki. Glancing up at his father, he observed his features and noticed that he indeed had similar ones. Kaneki noticed Izuki staring at him; he glanced down at the young boy while he poured more water onto his back, "What is it?"

"If you loved mom so much, why did you leave?" Kaneki let out a small chuckle and a sigh, setting the small pail down in the water as he sat down on the chair behind him, sleeves rolled up, "What's brought this on?"

"Mom said that you found another girl you liked so you left mom alone with Chiaki and me," Izuki informed looking up at Kaneki, playing with the tinted water below. "I found another girl huh?"

"I'll tell you a secret, but don't tell your mom okay?" Kaneki says quietly when he leans in close to Izuki; Izuki nods and looks up at Kaneki focused and ready for the secret. Kaneki leans back and rests his elbows on his knees, letting out another breath,

"I left because I loved her too much," Kaneki says with a sad smile, looking down at the floor beneath him. "But, if you loved her, you would just stay with her," Izuki says, holding the edge of the tub still confused on what Kaneki meant.

"I should've, you're right, but the things I did before your mom and I got married and before we had you, I did dangerous things. I fought a lot of ghouls and a lot of investigators, I joined dangerous groups of ghouls, but once I met your mom," Kaneki looks up at the ceiling and sighs before looking back down, a smile forming on his lips, "I knew she was the one for me."

"And then what happened?" Izuki asks, intrigued with the story of how his mother and his father met. "We fell in love. She loved me even though I was part ghoul and I loved her even though she was human. I left everything behind to be with your mom, I left my group and I stopped fighting to keep her safe."

"But I still don't get it when you said you left mom because you loved her too much," Izuki states as he sits back into the tub. Kaneki drains out the dirty water and fills it back up with clean one as he finished cleaning Izuki. "Because she got pregnant with you after we got married."

"Since I was working with dangerous ghoul groups, I was scared that they would get back at me for leaving and target your mom. She was so sweet and loving, but since she was human, she was so fragile." Kaneki pulled Izuki out of the tub and dried him with a towel before walking over to the bedroom where he had washed Izuki's clothing previously.

"I stayed with her for about five more years to make sure she would be stable and okay on her own before I left, I would feel devastated if anything bad had happened to her because of me." Hearing his words, Izuki feels crushed. He always thought his father was a bad guy, but after hearing his story, he realized that he did all of this just to protect her.

"So, you still love mom?" Izuki asks, hands playing in front of him as Kaneki dried his hair with the soft white towel. "I love her more than you could ever imagine," Izuki smiled, it was nice to know that his mom had people who loved her.

"Why don't you want to tell mom?" Izuki asks curiously, "She wouldn't believe me. She thinks I left her for another woman, and she is already in love, with Sasaki." Kaneki looked upset, and he was. "It would be better if she doesn't know, at least not now."

Pursing his lips, Izuki nods understandingly. "I'm glad you love mom a lot, cause I love her a lot too." Kaneki smiles and rubs Izuki's head playfully, "She raised you well."

Sneaking out into the night, Kaneki took Izuki back to your house and made sure Izuki went in safely. By the looks of it, you were still sound asleep.

"Thank you for saving me," Izuki says with a small bow, "Don't worry, I'm just happy you're safe. Now go inside before your mom wakes up." Nodding Izuki takes a few steps inside but stops and runs back to Kaneki to give him a hug, "Good night,"

Kaneki lets out a small smile as Izuki runs back inside and quietly closes the door, it was the happiest he's been in a while.

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