Inside The Outsider

Momma told me not to come here, but as usual I never listen. I hear what i want to hear," Blah Blah Blah Blah store Blah Blah Blah go. Ya hear me?" I nod my head even though i didn't understand a thing she said. In this case I wish i would have listened. Its hard being a negro, even worse as a negro girl. We get pushed around more than the boys do, and we can't do anything about. Its either: get pushed around and live or fight back and die.

I walked all the way down to this part of town, even though I shouldn't, but they have more things here than my neighborhood. I walked steadily to the convenient store with my head down and arms close by my side. I didn't want to draw any attention even though my existence on earth already does so

Finally I was at the store door; I wrapped my hand around the steel handle and pulled the door open. As it opened, a little bell rang lettin the owner know i was here. I slightly lifted my head and glanced at him in the corner of my eye. I've been here plenty of times, so he knows my face and I know his.
   I slightly grinned showing off my dimples, some how it lets people know i aint no hoodrat. I steadily paced towards the back of the store where all the sodas and snacks are. I carefully grabbed a coke, my favorite, and large hershey's chocolate bar.
    I walked to the counter and placed my items on top of it, as he rung up my items, we exchanged our usual glances. It was like we were having a conversation without words; none the less, it was better than being glared at, or heckled," 10 cents." I pulled out my coin purse from my school bag and dug around until i found a dime. I gently placed it into his hand and stuff my items into my bag. I gave him another friendly glance and walked out of the store; as i was puttin my coin purse back into my bag, i heard guys laughin and horsin around.

I looked over towards the noise and bam, there they were, those greasy lookin guys that were nothin but trouble and usually thats all they gave me. As i was glancing, one of them caught me lookin and pointed right in my direction. DAMMIT! I anxiously rushed to the bus stop, i stood there for a moment, it was silent. I relaxed a little since it seemed like they had gone away.

" BOO!" One of them yelled right beside my ear. I jumped but i didn't scream, it was already enough that i jumped, screamin would really let them know i was afraid. Suddenly they all started to circle around me, i put my head down because i knew how their faces would be lookin, and i didn't want to see that," What you doin in this part of town, huh?" One of them questioned. I didn't bother answering, i just sayed silent and prayed that the bus would come soon. Abruptly, he snatched my jaw and forced my head up but i didn't look him in the eyes," Look at me," I ignored him which only pissed em off," Look at me nigga!" I winced in pain as he clenched my jaw tighter.

I slowly scanned my surroundings and finally made it to his mischievous eyes. He deviously grinned at me as he chuckled with his friends quickly joinin in," You only listen when i call you by your name, eh" he released his hand from my jaw, immediately his other friends came onto me. They were trying to feel me up my skirt, and trying to put their disgustin alcoholic lips on me. I was honestly terrified, i don't want to be a rape victim or another careless murder victim.
     Suddenly one of them ran their hand through my hair, twirling a strand of it around his index finger. I turned to the stranger touching my hair with his greasy hand, and couldn't believe my eyes.

It was the cute, good for nothing Dallas Winston. Hell, trouble was his middle name and thats all that came his way. I can tell he loved trouble and mayhem, he made black girls like me wish they were white. Guys like him only like those rough greasy white girls, that love to have a "good" time. A girl like me can only observe what they do, i don't have time to do that stuff, but that stuff has time for me.