Ready to Take on the World

Chapter 32: Jake's version of the lie

I didn't want to involve Dalton into this mess (yet), so I promised Sally I would help her alone. She, her sister and her aunt (if she wanted) would all pack small suitcases and somehow get out of there when their brothers weren't home. I was gonna give them some money, but we had to figure out how we were gonna get Jean out, since she was exhausted and unable to move. I decided I was gonna go with them and help them get her out of bed. But first, Sally had to help me. Clear everything up. But even before that I had to clear things up with Jake. So I went to his house the next day and when we were in his room, I didn't hesitate, I just told him what I saw. 

''Why were you with Sally's brother? Why were you with Brad, Jake?'' I got straight to the point, not holding back.

''What are you talking about?'' He was trying to play dumb, only I knew he was playing dumb.

I crossed my arms over my chest and explained: ''The other day when I came to your house, I saw you with someone and I know it was Brad, Sally's brother.''

''What? No, you must've seen it wrong. I wasn't with him,'' He shook his head.

'Now he's lying to me?' I thought even more hurt.

My jaw fell down in disbelief. He was lying to me. So easily.

''How dare you lie? I saw you with him. I know it was him,'' I added, with hurt in my voice.

''How do you know? How do you know his name or what he looks like?'' Jake asked, like the fact that he was with him wasn't the point here, like my knowledge of Brad was more important than Jake lying about meeting with him.

''None of your business, 'cause I'm the one asking the questions here. So, you do admit that you were with Brad?'' I asked, now angry.

''No, I wasn't ...'' He tried to say, but before he could finish his sentence, I walked to the door to leave, because I was so mad and I knew it was pointless arguing with him.

But when I reached for the doorknob, he said it, desperately.

''Okay, okay, it was him. I was with Brad, you're right. But it wasn't what it looked like,''

I turned around and for a moment I thought I saw a trace of sadness and regret in his eyes, but I quickly shrugged it off and remembered I was angry with him.

I said: ''Really? Because it looked to me like you two were doing some kind of business. You shook hands.''

He frowned and responded: ''What? No! Well, the truth is, yeah, I sometimes lend them some money or help them, but it's not like I have a choice.''

Now I frowned and said to him: ''You do have a choice, you can stop it. Why are you helping those criminals? If you're helping them, you must know what they really do.''

''I mean yeah, they're small drug dealers. But their business will fall eventually, trust me. I promise. And it's not like I have a choice. I actually don't, because...''

I cut him off again:''Small drug dealers? Wait, you don't know?''

''Know what?'' He didn't understand.

''They run a drug trafficking ring right here in our town. They are ruining this town. And that's what you're helping, who you're helping. Not two small drug dealers,'' I explained to him, angry and hurt all at once.

Now his jaw dropped in disbelief. I was surprised that he didn't know, but it didn't excuse his actions.

He frowned again, stunned by what I'd just told him and said: ''What? No, that can't be true. They told me...''

''And you believed them? You believed those two scumbags? Seriously Jake?'' I said with incredulity.

He sat on the bed, closed his eyes and when he opened them again, a small tear came running down his cheek. His eyes were watery as he explained:''One day, a few years ago, a few months after what happened with Sally, they came to me after school and told me I had to help them. They told me I had to do it in return for hitting on their sister. I was so young and I didn't really understand why they wanted help. So I said no, but that's when they threatened my brother and mother. They said they would kill them if I didn't help them. I didn't know if they would've actually done that, but I believed them. And then they beat up Brain and I knew they were serious. I knew they wouldn't hesitate to hurt my family. Ever since then, I've been afraid of that, so I've been helping them to keep my family safe. I already lost my father, I couldn't lose my mother and brother, too.''

I said angry: ''Well if you don't stop, you'll lose me. Is that what you want?''

''What? No, Kai, please, wait ...'' He looked at me shocked, but then he shut up.

Then I suddenly realized what he'd said. ''Wait ... What do you mean ... You said you didn't know who beat up my brother. You said you didn't even know he'd been beat up.''

Jake looked away, trying to avoid my questioning gaze. Then he spoke: ''I lied. I knew. They told me and from then on I knew they were serious about hurting people. I think it was, in a way, even meant as a threat to me. I didn't say anything because I was too afraid for my family.''

Then he looked back at me and said: ''But I sweat to God, I didn't know they told him I ordered them to do it until you told me. I would never do that. I sweat to you, Kai. And after that I confronted them about it. I just ... didn't have the guts to stop helping them, because I knew what they were capable of. What they are capable of.''

I didn't know whether to believe him or not, plus it was a lot. What he'd just told me was a lot to take in, a lot of information to process. As though Jake heard my thoughts, he got up and said: ''Kai, please, you have to believe me.''

He touched my hands but I moved them away.

''I don't know, Jake. I don't know how to believe you,'' I said with hurt in my voice and tears in my eyes.

''I never wanted to lie to you Kai, never. I'm so sorry. And about Brad - that was just not telling you, because I was trying to protect you and my family. I'm scared of them, I'm scared they'll hurt my family and you. I mean, they already hurt yours once. I'm sorry I couldn't stop them and that I lied to you about it, but I was just trying to protect us. All of us. Please, Kai. Can you forgive me?''

Hot tears were now running down his face. I didn't know Jake could get so emotional. But I knew because of it, that he really meant what he said and he really was sorry. I wiped his tears away and said the least expected thing, but I knew it was the truth: ''I believe you. And I forgive you.''

And then I said it: ''I love you.'' 

It felt like the most perfect thing to say, the most suitable, truthful thing. I did love him. Unconditionally. 

He said it back: ''I love you too. And you have to know I did it to protect you. I would never let anything happen to you. And if something did ... I would never forgive myself.''

I kissed him and he hugged me with his strong arms and kissed me back.

He said what I had been thinking all along: ''You know, maybe it was fast. Our relationship. Before I met you, I used to think I could charm every girl, I could get every girl I wanted. I played with them like they were toys. I was arrogant and selfish. But when I met you I saw something in you. In your eyes. I just knew you would be different. But the thing is, I didn't act any different with you. I'm sorry if I was pushy or if it was all too fast. I wanted to get you, to have you. And then I started falling for you. I realized you weren't just another one of my girls, that you were special. You changed me. For the better. You brought out the best in me. I couldn't help but fall in love with you. You were so ... amazing, beautiful and honest. You were so different it helped me. It healed me. I also realized I couldn't stand you getting hurt, especially if I did something to hurt you. I needed to keep you safe. To redeem myself for how I was when I met you. You didn't deserve that guy, you deserved better.''

I was surprised. 'Did he just make a love confession? And a long one too.'

I believed him and was grateful that he trusted me with all of that, so I said: ''Yeah, that's true. But I deserve the guy you are now. And you deserve me. Because we're meant for each other. And I know it sounds cheesy and like a cliche, but it's true. Some thing in life are meant to be cliches. And I know that no matter what, we'll always be there for each other and we'll always love each other.''

He smiled and hugged me even harder.

And then I got Sally's voice message.