Killing Me Softly

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There's something about a new day that is oddly comforting. Just the thought of today being a brand new day. Another chance to start fresh and onto the right foot. And what all can we do? Embrace it to our best ability. You might have went to bed with tears in your eyes and hurt in your heart. But you wake up and try to move on. It's all we can do. That's what I'm going to do.

I've realized this now, there's no going back. What the real question is at hands is: Do I even truly want to go back to who I used to be? Deep down inside I know I don't. I couldn't even if I wanted to now. I've crossed over into a world where I was nothing but ignorant towards. I was Bambi. Now when I look myself in the mirror I see that image of myself growing dimmer by the day. I know I can't go back to who I was before Bryce, but I know I still can be me at the end of the day. The same girl that would rather sit up all night going on a binge on Netflix and stuff my face with Oreos for days.

Though now the same girl fell, fell hard for the boy who she never could see herself with. The one that found her voice of strength and independence that was there all along. The same one that wasn't alone anymore. I am Shayla Janelle Dennis and I am Bambi. Now it's time for me to embrace it.

* * * *

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, my paddle brush in hand, attempting to maintain the monstrosity of hair of mine. Spritzing some more detangler solution into it, for the tenth time this morning I tried to tame these curls of mine. I groaned when my brush roughly snagged onto one of many tangles in my hair. Ripping the brush out of my hair and slamming it down on the counter top. What was the point of having detangler if it didn't work!

"Fuck it." I murmured giving up on trying to do anything remotely attractive with my hair today. I pulled my damp hair up into a messy bun on top of my head when two strong arms wrapped around my bare waist. 

"Good morning." Bryce whispered his lips brushing against my neck teasingly. Our eyes met in the mirror in front of us. His eyes briefly looking over my choice of hairstyle and merely chuckled. "Having a bad hair day?"

"Bad hair day is an understatement." I huffed examining my bun. "I should just shave it all off and go bald."

Turning around in his arms I leaned up and kissed his nose. "I suppose that could be an opinion but you kinda have a lumpy hair so I don't think that would be attractive."

I gasp slapping his arm while he laughed at me. "I do not have a lumpy head." Out of curiosity I reached up and rubbed my skull. "Besides, even if I did have a lumpy head - which I don't - you're suppose to love me regardless."

Bryce rolled his eyes mockingly. "I do love you regardless you crazy woman. I'm just saying that so you don't come running to me when everybody makes fun of your lumpy head."

I narrowed my eyes at him and removed myself from his embrace. Leaning up against the cool counter I folded my arms across my chest. "At least I don't have a peanut head." I muttered.

Bryce raised an eyebrow at me, clearly amused. "Really? That's all you got?"

Defeated I brushed past a laughing Bryce and back into the bedroom. I grabbed my phone along the way and plopped down onto the bed. My expectation being completely the same as before. My mom still hasn't even tried to contact me. I'm surprised she didn't call the cops on me for grand theft auto. I don't know why I even bothered. I guess a small part of me wants her step up a be the mother I always wanted. But she's not no matter what I do.

"Baby I know we had plans today to go to the beach but..."

I didn't even blink. "You have to take care of something." It wasn't even a question.

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