Hetalia x Male Reader

America x Sarcastic!Male Reader (Café AU)

"A large coffee with cream and sugar for, uh, Alfred!" The lady behind the counter yelled through the busy store, making a tall blond male stand up, going to grab his coffee.

Leaving the small table he had been sitting at, the man, other known as Alfred, picked up the hot cup.

He was slightly panicking as the coffee was hot and spilling down his hand. Alfred could feel himself rushing towards his table, only to find his seat taken.

"Why is your coffee on my table?" The (H/C) male asked, a distressed grin on his face as he asked, his thick (Nationality) accent shining through as he pronounced the words. In front of the male was a blueberry muffin, half eaten along with a white napkin that he had been writing on the corner off.

The male himself looked messy, Alfred noticed while he was frantically drying hot coffee off his hand, stopping it from running down his sleeve.

His (H/L) (H/C) was messy, he obviously hadn't had a brush near it in ages, his (E/C) dull. He had large bags under his eyes that made Alfred wonder why the male was eating a blueberry muffin instead of drinking the coffee his body desperately needed to stay awake.

The unknown male coughed a little, making Alfred look up at him with a smirk. "Well I sat here first, so I was planning on enjoying my morning coffee sitting here" Alfred explained as he threw away some napkins, into a bin conveniently placed next to the table.

The male couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at Alfreds statement. He then opened his mouth, "What do you expect? We're in a busy café and you don't expect your seat to get taken?" The (H/C) male asked, huffing slightly before continuing. "But you know what be my guest, come sit in my lap" He told Alfred, sending him a welcoming smile as he patted his lap, making Alfred look at him, wondering if he was actually serious.

"What are you? Like 12?" The blond found himself asking making the other male crack a laugh, running his (S/C) hand through his messy hair.

"Yeah" He stated out in the obvious making Alfreds eyes widen once more. "On a scale of one to ten!" The male sniggered, before leaning over and taking a bite of his muffin, crumbs getting everywhere as he tried to not laugh to much at his own joke.

When the laughter had finally died down, the (Brunette, Blond, Ravenette, Ginger, Crimsonette, Pinknette..) looked at Alfred, his eyes still dull, this time a small child like smirk showing on his face. "Just find a seat and sit down, drink your coffee and get on your way" He commented before taking yet another bite of the muffin.

Alfred did as told, sitting down and sipping at his coffee, letting the slurping noise he made being heard through most of the café, although it only seemed to bother one particular person.

The man in front of him.

He looked up at Alfred, away from his small scribble that he had been drawing on his napkin. "If you have to go down on someone, could you at least go to the bathroom down at target? I've heard one of the stalls have a glory hole" The male told, wiggling his eyebrows, making Alfred cringe slightly as he put down his coffee, looking at the male wide eyed.

Alfred simply stared at him, words not able to leave his mouth.

–

Not even a day went on before the two met again. This time the unknown male had been the one to be there first, sitting at a corner table, similar to the one he had stolen from the American a day prior.

"A large black coffee for (M/N)!" Was shouted through the shop, making the (Brunette, Blond, Ravenette, Ginger, Crimsonette, Pinknette..) stand up, abandoning his muffin on the table, quickly grabbing his cup, not making the mistake of spilling as he brought it back to the table.

"Good morning (M/N)" The blond said as he send you a smirk, making you place a hand on your hip. Setting your coffee down at the table, right beside your muffin which you were by the way was missing a piece of. Seeing the crumbs on his what-used-to-be-white dress shirt, you were about to speak out before being interrupted.

"Before you ask, I'm simply enjoying my morning coffee. Of course if you'd like you can come sit in my lap" Alfred told with a cheeky smile, patting his lap, copying the motion the other male had made a day earlier.

The male growled slightly before finding a new chair sitting down on it. "So since you decided to take a bite of my muffin, I'd like to know the name of who I will be suing" (M/N) stated as he took a bite of the muffin, crumbling on the table making Alfred chuckle slightly.

"The name's Alfred. Alfred Jones" He stated making (M/N) simple huff.

"Well, hello James Bond" He said, giggling a little.

He then proceeded to take a sip of his coffee, spitting it out almost immediately.

"God, I hate coffee!"

–

Small meetings like that would continue throughout the month, but one particular Friday stood out.

Alfred had been waiting for his coffee for quite the time, before he heard a familiar voice call his name. When he looked around (M/N) was sitting at their usual table, crumbs all over his lap and two cups of coffee on the table. When Alfred walked towards the male he also noticed that he had dragged an extra chair to the table.

"Aw, you brought me a chair! Uh, and coffee!" Alfred exclaimed with a grin as he sat down. The (Brunette, Blond, Ravenette, Ginger, Crimsonette, Pinknette..) on the other side of the table simply huffed.

"Nah, I took your coffee when you ordered it yourself. I was just enjoying you running around like a chicken without a head when you couldn't find your coffee" The male told with a snigger as he bit into his muffin.

The two continued to spend quite the while at the café, chit chatting with each other about whatever came to their minds, it was honestly a very nice bond the two had made, even though they had never spoken outside the café.

"You know, Alfred you should honestly always give 100%" The male told, a smile on his face as he talked about grades and such with the slightly younger male. Although a mumble could be heard. "Unless you're giving blood of course, then you really shouldn't give 100%.." (M/N) chuckled slightly at his own sarcasm, Alfred laughing as well, a smile spread on the faces of both boys.

Through the entire talk the older of the two, (M/N) that is, had been writing something on the edge of his napkin, the black ink from his pen very visible to the eye.

The male then explained that he had to leave, his classes starting early that day, making Alfred sit alone at the coffee table, crumbs everywhere and a note clashed on top of all the clutter.

'Call me. Or don't, your choice James Bond.

xx (Your number)'

Only seconds after Alfred finished reading the note he heard a yell from around the corner, along with someone spitting something out.

"GOD I HATE COFFEE!"

1.234 words for the second AU oneshot.

So I hope you all like it because I actually think it's kinda cute and funny. Also i'm currently sick and it a little over 1 AM so all my humour may just be because I've gotten zero sleep for the last couple of days.

So enjoy, I'll get back to writing more one shots soon.

Until next time;

Lots of Hugs, Alex <3