These Words Scream

Routine

Lost
I feel lost
It has become a routine
At night, in a dark, small room, a scared girl is struggling with her own emotions
Dealing with her own fears
Her own imperfections
She gets up, does what she's told
She exercises until she collapses
Then she proceeds to hit herself as hard as she can as a punishment
The punishment she deserves
For not being good enough
For not exercising enough
For being too damn weak
For being herself
Bruises are made
And that makes her feel worse
Because she knows she's not strong enough
Because she knows she can't hurt herself enough
Because she has failed once again
Just like always
She tries to sleep, but the flashbacks keep coming
They don't let her sleep
They won't let her sleep
She needs sleep
But once she closes her eyes, it all starts again
Just another way to punish herself
And the worst part?
She knows too damn well she deserves it