These Words Scream

That's why...

I've tried. Time and time again, I've tried.

To not cut, to not be weak, to not fall under temptations.

You single handily abolished whatever pieces of my heart was left.

You see the struggles I've been through. You still leave me, like I'm nothing.

I'm sorry for being weak. I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for you having to love me. I'm sorry about the struggles I've put you through. But I'm most sorry for wasting your time.

I'm sorry for apologizing too much

I'm sorry I can't live up to expectations

I'm sorry I broke down again

I tried to hold out, to be strong. I physically and mentally can't.

I'm sorry I can't be the ideal perfect girl everybody makes me out to seem.

I'm sorry you can see scars. But that's the only beautiful things about me.

I've lost total control. Don't know where or how to start.

Don't know if I want to start. Maybe I should just give up.

I cry too much. Too many tears in only a short time.

I'm sorry I couldn't put my fake smile on. I'm sorry I can't find it anymore.

However, what I'm sorry for the most, I'm sorry for affecting you. Everyone, I'm sorry for getting in your heart and in your head.

And once again, I'm sorry for apologizing so much.

Some will say that suicide or curing is selfish. Selfish for the loved ones.

Isn't it selfish for the loved ones to continue to let the person contributing through life in so much pain?

I'm not committing suicide, but I just might. Too many thoughts, too many unseen cuts to the human eye.

That's why I'm breaking down, giving in, and giving up.