How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Nine

Arron

Okay. Maybe I have pushed Allie a little too hard the other day…Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve pushed her too much. I’ve called her a coward and it caused her to walk out on me.

I was expecting her to yell, or growl at me like a lion that I thought she would transform into but she said nothing and left. Which is much worse. I know why she left though. It means victory for me–because what I said was true but why do I feel like I lost?

It was my very intention to push her–break her until her true self cracks out of her shell but she kept on hiding and dodging my attempts. And walking out. I think we’re currently tied on our little game called ‘who-walks out-the-most’.

“Looks like you’re rolling in the deep.” napatingin ako sa biglang nagsalita. Hindi ko namalayan na may tumabi na pala sa akin. Katulad ng usual routine, nasa klase ako ngayon–as we waited for our professor who’s currently running late for ten minutes. Sinubukan kong ngumisi kay Vin.

“Wala.” sinagot ko dito at matapos ay ibinalik ang tingin kay Allie.Napansin ko na palagi ko na siyang tinitingnan tuwing nasa loob ng room. It’s like my eyes are drawn to stare at her and nothing but her. Pakiramdam ko ay gumagaan ang loob ko sa tuwing papanoorin ko ang bawat ginagawa niya. It was stupid because all she does is to sit and listen to whoever was talking in front.

I don’t know how many times I’ve wished na tumingin siya sa kinauupuan ko pero simula ng sinabihan ko siya ng ‘duwag’ nung isang araw ay hindi niya na ginagawa iyon.She used to stare at me kapag papasok siya ng room at naglalakad papuntang upuan niya–nakikita ko siya sa gilid ng mga mata ko kahit hindi ko pinapahalata na tumitingin sa kanya.I feel suddenly pissed at myself for being a douche bag and refusing to help her. And again, pissed at myself for being pissed just because I refused to help her.

But damn it!

Hindi ko lang talaga hilig ang makialam sa gulo ng iba. Hindi ako sahog. Hindi ako mahilig manira ng relasyon ng iba. Much more na magpanggap para lang masira ito. At mas lalong hindi ko gusto masabihan ng third party. It was illogical and stupid for someone who’s admittedly smart like me. I’m a player–and Allie said it herself, I’m a heartbreaker who gets any girl he wants.

Kaya bakit ko kailangan magpanggap na mang-agaw ng may girlfriend ng may girlfriend?

Thrill?

For the heck of it?

To prove that my charm is limitless?