How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Forty-Two

Arron

It's been two days since Allie was confined to the hospital. Noong araw na naisugod siya ay hindi ako pinayagan pumasok sa loob ng hospital room. They said immediate family lang muna ang puwedeng pumasok sa loob at bantayan ang pasyente. Pinauwi na lang muna ako ni Tita pero hindi ako basta-basta umuwi. I waited for Allie to wake up first bago umalis.

On the next day, I tried to convince them na papasukin ako pero hindi pa rin puwede. They said they're still waiting for Allie's vitals to stabilize. Hindi ko alam kung nagsasabi sila ng totoo o ayaw lang talaga nila akong papasukin pero wala naman akong ibang magagawa. I really wanted to see her.

Gusto kong makita na okay lang siya. I want to see her still breathing and alive. Hindi ako mapakali sa bahay habang alam kong nasa hospital si Allie at nilalabanan mag-isa ang karamdaman niya.I was scared to sleep. Natatakot ako na baka sa sandaling oras na ipikit ko ang mga mata ko ay mawala na lang siya bigla. Death strikes too fast, too soundless that you wouldn't no when it'll get you or the one you love the most.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses akong nagdasal nitong nakaraang dalawang araw. I prayed hard for her good health, for her safety. I begged Him not to steal her away from me just yet. I begged for another month, a year-to spend with her dahil hindi pa ako sawa na makasama siya. I wanted to ask for forever but I know that it'll be too much to ask.

Gusto ko pa siyang makasama nang mas matagal. Hindi pa ako tapos mahalin siya at hindi ko alam kung kailan iyon matatapos-kung matatapos nga ba.

Binabalitaan naman ako ni Tita at ni Frannie tungkol sa kalagayan ni Allie. They said nagising na siya the next day but she's still weak. Hindi siya nakakagalaw pa ng maayos because of the medicine and other antibiotics that they injected on her. At saglitan lang daw nagigising si Allie dahil wala pang ilang minute ay makakatulog rin ito.

Naiinis nga ako dahil naunahan pa ako ni Dominic na makausap si Allie. But that's only because Dominic called Frannie since he's not in Manila at kasalukuyang nasa bakasyon. Though I'm still glad that I was finally allowed to visit her. Lumabas si Tita mula sa loob ng room ni Allie at sakto naman na papunta pa lang ako. Tita smiled when she saw me at sinubukan ko naman ngumiti.

"Gising po ba si Allie?"

"Oo. Kanina pa siya gising. Mabuti na lang at nandito ka na. Pupunta lang ako sa canteen para kumain, Allie's order." I nodded. "Ikaw muna ang bahala kay Allie, Arron ha?" I gave Tita a reassuring smile as I nodded. Ngumiti rin sa akin si Tita bago tuluyan na umalis.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa room ni Allie. I knocked first before opening the door to get in. Nakita ko lang si Allie na nakahiga at nakatitig sa ceiling pero para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan when she's still in the same form that I last saw her. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil nakikita ko na ayos lang siya.

"Allie." tawag ko dito at inalis naman ni Allie ang tingin niya sa kisame para lang tingnan ako. Biglang sumimangot si Allie nang makita ako. My heart crippled a little. I was expecting her to be happy and smile now that I'm here but I got the opposite reaction of what I wanted.

"What are you doing here?" she said with outmost disgust.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay, now leave."

"Allie,"

"You're not supposed to be here, Arron." malamig na sabi ni Allie sa akin at katulad niya ay napasimangot ako.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you here. Isn't it obvious? Your presence annoys me. It makes everything four times worse."