How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Twenty-Nine

Arron stopped looking at my way and I don’t know if I should be happy about it or not. I’m pretty sure the right reaction is to be relieved because he’s finally giving up but a part of me wants to frown and nag at him for surrendering but it was what I told him that I badly wanted.

Akala ko ba alam niya kapag nagsisinungaling ako? I thought he knew better? Why didn’t he realize that I was lying? Why didn’t he see beneath my acts?

Siguro nga dapat ko nang isuko ang kung ano mana ng meron sa amin ni Arron. I need to put a stop to whatever I was feeling for him because it wasn’t right. End every possible emotion that I had for him because I know it’ll never work out.

“Cheer up, girl.” sabi sa akin ni Frannie.

Inamin ko na sa kanya ang totoo, okay, not the whole truth but I told him what happened between me and Arron. I admitted how I was conflicted with my feelings for Dominic pero hindi ko inamin sa kanya na mahal ko na si Arron.

Kay Arron nga, hindi ko alam kung masasabi ko pa so why in the world would I tell her that? I bet she’d just scold me and tease me with I told you so’s. I so don’t need anyone rubbing my mistake on my face. Tama na yung ako mismo ang nagsasabi ng mga bagay na iyon sa sarili ko.

“That’s what I’ve been trying.” tahimik na sagot ko sa kanya.

Frannie and I decided to hang out. Napansin niya kasi na matamlay ako kaya inaya niya akong lumibot sa The Fort. Hindi na lang ako kumontra dahil matagal na rin naman simula ng pumunta kami doon. Mas madalas kasi kami ng pinsan ko sa eastwood.

Inilibot ko ang tingin ko sa paligid. Kanina pa kami naglilibot sa art walk. Nakita ko naman ang mga art displays dati pero matagal na rin iyon and it was a good excuse to busy my thoughts.

Transformation is a sculpture of stacked laminated glass. They say it mirrors Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. It was breathtaking to look at but it’s even more gorgeous at night. Nandoon pa rin ang Pasasalamat, which is a representation of two fishermen who looks like they were giving thanks for God’s blessings, Ang Supermo is a brass and bronze tribute to Andres Bonifacio, maganda rin yung Balanghai but I don’t really get the masterpiece. I just know that Balanghai is a derivative of the word ‘baranggay’. Napag-aralan ko yon when I was in highschool. I’m surprised na naalala ko pa iyon.

Then there’s the brass and cement sculpture of a sun dial with seven paper-like dolls. My favorite though is The Trees.

“Kamusta naman kayo ni Dominic?” I didn’t bother looking at her, just stared everywhere to keep my eyes busy.

“Dominic is still the same, ako lang yung may problema.”

“You don’t love him anymore.” she was expecting for a confirmation.

“I love him. But not the way I was in love with him before.”

“Oh, anong problema don? Didn’t you say you were breaking up with him in the first place?” I frowned at her words.