How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Nineteen

Arron

I checked my phone as soon as I got home. The whole time I was with Carmela, I felt like something was wrong and wrong wasn’t something that I feel whenever I’m with her.

As soon as turned I turned on my phone, I found out that I was right when I felt like something was wrong. My mouth dropped at how many times Allie called me and left me messages. A strange part of me wanted to smile and jump in happiness. Which is weird because I never wanted to jump like a piece of gayshit.

The happy part of me died when I realized why Allie had been calling me. Naalala ko na sinabihan ko nga pala siya na may pupuntahan kami. Fuck!

I tried texting and calling her. Sinubukan ko pa ngang pumunta sa lugar kung saan niya sinabing naghihintay niya but she wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t expect that she’ll be there anyway. Five o’clock na for God’s sake.

Hindi ko naman sinasadya na makalimutan. Tumawag lang kasi sa akin bigla si Carmela, and whenever when I’m with her–everything seemed to disappear and my head is wrapped around her. That, and she’s very jealous. Ayaw niya ng may ibang kaagaw ng atensyon ko kaya I keep everything that would distract me from her.

Guilty washed over me when Allie texted me with so much aversion. Pero napalitan agad ang guilty na yon when she said she was with Dominic. Halos sumabog ako sa sobrang galit. At ang nakakainis pa, hindi naman ako dapat magalit. Ano ngayon kung kasama niya si Dominic? Ano ngayon kung posibleng ginagawa nila ang bagay na ginagawa nila nung huli ko silang nakita?

Fuck.

I was about to leave her alone. For a split second, I was really determined to stop bothering her and like what she said–keep my shit out of her business. She’s her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend that she’s planning to break up with.

The reason why she asked for my help.

Damn it.

Galit ako dahil sa kakaibang nararamdaman ko. Galit ako dahil nag-iisip pa ako ng dahilan para makausap ko lang siya.

Fuck, Allie.

“Hey, calm ze tits.” napalingon ako kay Trent at sinamaan siya ng tingin. He raised both of his arms, like he was retreating at umiling-iling na lang ako. Kinuha ko ang shot glass at ininom na lang ang alak na nasa harap kahit na turn na ni Harold.

Nang ibinaba ko ang tawag kay Allie at sinabihan na iwanan si Dominic, I was immediately frustrated. Frustrated at her for being so damn densed and frustrating. Frustrated at me for being so frustrated shitless at her.