Conflicting Attractions // h.s

20\\Tempting Fate

(warning: it contains a lot of swearing plus drug use, if you're not comfortable with that, you don't have to read the first bit, just skip to the dots, love you guys) xxx

Harry

After I left Phoebe's apartment in anger, all I felt like doing was drinking and getting high. I had called Zayn and he was coming around to my house with some beers and some joints. I don't know why Phoebe angered me so much but she continues to keep pushing me away. There was no explanation as to why but I hated that she did that, I was only trying to help her and be there for her like any friend would be.

But all I get is pushed away.

Gemma was out with her friends tonight which made it easier to smoke some joints in my flat. She hates it when Zayn and I decide to get high, she always tells us to "piss off and do it at his house" but we can't do it there either because of his flatmate Kieran lives with him. The only place we can smoke until we're wasted is my flat, which I'm glad that it's meant to be windy, the windows will be open and the smoke will blow straight out.

The knock on the door made me super happy inside because I knew it would be Zayn. Even though we've had our differences in the past, he's always been there for me when I need him. He supplies me with anything I need and that's all I need in my life. I walked over and opened the door, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he smiled at me, two bags of beers in each hand as he walked in, placing them on the table before reaching into his pocket and pulling out almost half a sandwich bag filled with my favourite pastime.

"You called and I delivered bro," Zayn said with a chuckle as I high-fived him, cracking open a beer before he started to roll a joint, taking a few puffs of his cigarette in the process. He was getting the bits ready as I handed him his beer. "Thanks bro, hey, where's your sister Gemma tonight?"

"Out," I simply said, taking another sip of the beer in my hand. "Thank fück for that though. She's super against stuff like this and can you imagine her on my ass? I wouldn't be able to deal with her as well as my spinning head."

"So are you going to lay the shit on me and tell me why you're in need to get drunk and high at the same time, mate?"

"Woman sometimes, they drive me up the fücking wall," I admitted truthfully, a pain in my heart shooting through which made me take a steady breath. Why the hell did it hurt to say that? "The woman I've been friends with can't make up her fücking mind as to what she wants. One minute I'm the one she wants and then the next I'm the one who needs to piss off, I can't win Zayn."

Zayn chuckled as he finished rolling our first joint as he finished his smoke, putting it in the ashtray as he grabbed his lighter and lit the joint, taking in a large puff before handing it to me. I grabbed it gladly, taking a puff as well before I sucked in the smoke, feeling it burn my throat as I exhaled it out of my mouth and nose. "I'm so glad I don't have any female friends, they fück with your head, mate. I only get with chicks to get laid, I don't need anyone for the long run."

"But I'm not like you, mate," I said as he took another puff, doing the exact same as I was before as I took a sip of my beer. "I can't just have a girl around to fück her when I want. I want to settle down soon, fall in love, get married if I have too, have a few kids, and grow old together with the love of my life. I used to be the womaniser but I've changed my ways."

"Oh fück off, Harry, that bitch has changed you no end," Zayn said as we burst into laughter but I started to stop when I realised he was right. Ever since I met Phoebe, she's changed me for the good. When I met her, I realised that there's more to life than sex, drugs and money. "You need to let go, live life, get laid a bit more then you should be feeling yourself again. None of this "woman driving you insane" talk."