The Beginning to The End (Some Phan)

Part 41

-Phil-

This is bad. He's gay and I love him, but Jake. I care about him too. What if Dan doesn't feel the same way then I will have lost my best friend and boyfriend.
"Can you leave for a bit?" I asked Dan, trying not to cry.
"What?"
"I asked if I could be alone" I said again. My voice cracked because I was holding down my tears.
"Uh-o-okay" He stuttering a bit because going.

"I'm such an idiot" I sat against the door.

Through all this, I'm acting like a child.

Dan has gone through so much more than me. He almost died, he was a dream where his friends turned against him and I'm crying. I shouldn't be crying. I should be comforting my best friend, but no I'm crying on the floor.

"Ah!" I shouted out, letting everything go, as my voice echoed across the new apartment.
"Phil! Are you okay?!" I heard Dan running, knocking on my door.
"Yeah" I signed hugging my legs, falling asleep.

-About 5 hours later-

I was startled by a knock on the door.
"You haven't left your room in five hours" Dan said on the other side of the door.
"Your dinner is getting cold" He sighed.
"I f-fell asleep, s-sorry" I said getting off the floor and opening the door.

I looked at Dan, he looked terrible taking it had only been 5 hours.

He had heavy bags under his eyes, hid eyes were red and puffy, he had been crying, a lot. His cheeks were tear stained and he was shaking a bit.
"I'm sorry" I said quickly hugging him tightly.
"I'm sorry you got hit instead of me, I'm sorry you were afraid to tell me that your gay, I'm sorry I keep thinking of myself and not you, I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry you saw Jake and I, I'm sorry that everytime I try to help you it fails and I'm sorry I'm not there for you like I should"

-Dan-

I watched Phil apologize, but I wasn't sure if he should. I wasn't much different either.
"Stop." I said suddenly stopping him from continuing.
"I don't wanna hear it Phil, stop apologizing, you're not suppose. It's not your fault, it never was, it's J-" I stopped myself from talking anymore.
"What is it? Who's fault is it? Who ran you over? Tell me, I'll get them caught" He said defensively. Lifting himself up and looking at me protectively.
"I d-don't remember, I don't" I stuttered.
"I know you're lying, just tell me" He said sternly.
"N-No, I don't remember" I said trying to dominate him, but failed.
"You can tell me Dan, I'm here for you" He said in a more soft tone.
"I don't want to Phil, I don't want to okay!" I shouted, striking two the lounge.
"Stop running from your problems!" He shouted behind me.

This is another bad dream, just wake up Dan, I'm sure Phil is not with Jake. I'm just in another coma, right?! For fucks sake please tell me I'm in another nightmare. That's what it is. Another nightmare. I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fine. Phil won't know Jake. Jake won't exist. I'll be fine.

I sat on the crying, trying to wake up.
"Dan, stop, this isn't a dream, this is reality" He said sitting next to me.

I'm saying my thoughts out loud?

"Yes you are, did you go to that psychologist th doctor told you about?"
"N-No, I'm not, I'm not crazy, I'm not going back, I'm not" I cried more, leaning onto Phil's shoulder, soaking his t-shirt with my warm tears.
"You're not Dan, you just need some help" Phil put his arm around me hugging me while I cried.
"But I don't need help I need you" I said softly, probably too soft because he didn't seem to hear me because the door opened and I saw Jake...

Lol Hi Babies I just realised I didn't put a note, so here one is... I don't know what to say lol. Anywhoooo.
Click that little star at the bottom and I'll see ya next time.

'If you were Dan in here, what would you do'

Byyyyye