Adam Hann Imagines

Eyes Closed

"We can't do this anymore. I can't keep leading you on when deep down I know I'm not in it 100 percent. I'm sorry."

I kept replaying what Adam said to me that night in my head over and over. I had dug myself into a hole. I would've gave it all for Adam. I thought things were good. I don't know where I went wrong or how to move on. I spiraled. If it weren't for my roommate dragging me out every night I probably wouldn't have left the house. It had been a month or so and there were days I tried to move on. I suppose that's where Andrew comes in.

Andrew. He was a sweet guy, he treated me nice and if I kept my eyes closed he looked just like Adam. Not to say they didn't already resemble each other in that Andrew had similar blue, green eyes and dusty blonde hair. However, when he looked at me it felt nothing like when Adam did. I couldn't tell if I was with him just to get over Adam, or to get my roommate off my back.

"Andrew's here!" My roommate called as I looked over myself in the mirror one last time. I felt so numb, as if I was moving on auto pilot. Leaving my room, Andrew stood there waiting for me. My mind playing tricks on me, he looked just like Adam in that moment. Shaking my head, I fixed my vision on him. Reality breaking my heart that he was in fact not Adam. With a weak smile, as it was hard to act like I was okay all the time when I clearly was hung up on some guy who was never mine, I moved to hug him. He kissed my cheek and we were off.

As we were in the car driving, it took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. Luckily for me, Andrew was kind of oblivious. He don't realize that I'm thinking about someone altogether different a majority of the time we're together.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked turning to face him as the car slowed to a stop at a red light.

"I was saying," he laughed finding my air headed-ness "adorable" when really I'm just thinking about Adam and he's too dumb to realize.

"I have something very exciting planned for us tonight. But it's a surprise." He beamed, clearly excited.

"So I take it you're not gonna tell me where we're going then?" I dead-paned and it occurred to me how rude I was to him sometimes.

"Nope. It's a surprise." He smiled and I tried to mirror his excitement but I think it just came across like I was being an ass. The ride was full of Andrew chatting about who knows what. All that was on my mind was that Adam was close. The tour having brought them nearby, a few towns over if I remembered correctly. Suddenly the thought of him being so close gave me butterflies. I wondered what he was doing in this moment. Checking my phone, it was 7:33pm. Most likely getting ready to go on stage.

"Here we are.." Andrew trailed off and as I looked up I felt sick. Taking in the environment, young girls in the bands tee shirts excitedly walking towards the venue. The huge LED sign flashing 'The 1975 - Sold Out'.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, my voice getting caught in my throat.

"Well I know a guy who knows a guy and had some strings pulled and got us the VIP treatment for the night." He said pulling into a parking spot.

"And my dad knows their manager. They grew up together or something like that. " He said, cutting to the chase. I just stared at him shell shocked. This couldn't be happening.

"Well, cmon! They're waiting." He said getting out of the car and coming round to open my door. Still in shock I got out until his word choice hit me.