Regal [h.s au]

34. Marriage

HARRY

I've been frozen in one position, sitting hunched on the edge of my bed, unable to move or function for that matter. My head is resting in my hands, the strands of my hair clutched between my fingers as my elbows are perched on my thighs. I am clueless about how long has it been since Amelia left my chambers and my life, but judging by the diminishing darkness and approaching daylight, I'd say it's been hours. You'd think I'd feel the weight of exhaustion from not sleeping for so long, but I don't feel even that. It's like I am completely shut down, numb and unresponding.

All the diligent preparations to become King one day I've had since I could walk, all the countless hours spent learning how to behave, how to rule, and how to lead cannot be compared to the difficulty of what has happened mere hours ago. Letting Amelia walk out of my life while I stayed behind and watched helplessly as the distance between us increased has been the hardest thing I have ever done. 

The only thing comforting me and providing me with the tiniest dose of tranquillity in this moment is her promise to stay safe.  I let her go so I could follow the path designed for me from the moment I was born and to my absolute disappointment, she was not meant to be a part of that path regardless of what I'd give to change that.  I hope she shall go as far away from Solis as possible, find the freedom she once told me she longs for and find happiness. At least one of us deserves it and I want it to be her.

Being lost in my thoughts, I barely notice someone opening the doors of my chambers and slipping inside, coming to a stop in front of me. When I finally fully register the presence of another person, my heart shows a brief sign of life, stupidly thinking it might be Amelia. But when my surely bloodshot eyes gaze upward, I am left disappointed, the small rising wave of hope crashing down as fast as it came. 

"Mother?" I ask, my voice strained and scratchy.

"Oh, Harry," she sorrowfully says, her bright eyes looking down at me with sadness and sympathy. Her hand raises to pet my hair gently before she lowers herself beside me. "I am so sorry."

"For what?" I flatly ask.

"I ran into Amelia earlier."

My eyes widen and I am suddenly alert, fear etching itself into my expression and sizzling through my body. "What? No, w-where is she?"

"Calm down, my son, she is fine. I did her no harm, she left the castle," the Queen assures me, instantly wiping my fear as the previous numbness returns as if nothing happened. "We hadn't spoken much, but she gave me a warning and told me to take care of you. It's sad she had to say it, as your mother that's what I should have been doing in the first place."

"I wish not to offend you, but why are you here? I'd much rather be alone, I am a terrible company at the moment." My knuckles put some pressure on my eyes, rubbing them and slightly erasing the burning sensation caused by the lack of sleep. My muscles are strained from not being used for hours and from my unchanged position, even the slightest stretch causing a dull ache.

"I came here to tell you how terribly sorry I am for what you ought to do. Just know if the situation was different, I wouldn't make you marry her, Harry. I shouldn't have pressured you to do it in the first place, I haven't a clue why was I so adamant about it." She shakes her head, her palm rubbing my back soothingly.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I have to do it to save our kingdom."

"My sweet boy," she gently says, letting out a heavy sigh. "You should also know a message has been delivered that the Roseburne princess is on her way and should be here tomorrow along with her soldiers. The fleet shall arrive a few days later considering it takes them a bit longer to reach Solis, but we will at least have better protection on land. The moment her parents heard your conditions, they sent her away. She, of course, accepted the marriage offer."