Study Buddy: A Chris & Miya Story

Chapter 74

note: no matter what happens, keep reading, btw i love y'all :)

Right Here x Chris Brown
(I had it on repeat while writing)

Chris

I have never been up so early like this. I don't even remember falling asleep. I stared straight ahead at the blank television screen.

Every time I blink, I see Miya's face. I start to remember every encounter I had with her, flashes from our past fill my brain, and visions of our future entice my mind.

Why was our time together so short, why did I let her slip away?

I shifted in my spot and my hand dangled off the sofa as I stared at the ceiling. My eyes were heavy and my heart is in pain. I actually feel the pain, from this... I love her.

Maybe I'm too young to say this, but I feel like I would never love somebody the way I love Miya. Everything with her just clicked.

I closed my eyes and turned over, adjusting my position on the sofa. I hear footsteps shuffle towards me, my mom, and suddenly a blanket gets thrown over the lower half of my body...

Pretending to be asleep has been forte for the past days. Ever since Miya and I had our last argument I just couldn't function. I haven't left the house, except for graduation. And even then if it wasn't for my mom, I would've just let them mail me my diploma.

Every now and then I had to remember to breathe regularly.

Suddenly I just sat up straight, and buried my face in my hands.

"Chris?" I hear my mom's voice.

I run my hands down my face. "Yes?" I say a little above a whisper, only because I haven't talked for awhile so my voice is a little groggy.

"You should go to your room, and get some rest..." She says.

I shift my eyes to look at her, before standing up and grabbing the blankets with my hand. I rub my eye with my free hand.

"I think you should call her, and settle things." Mom says before I could fully walk off.

I haven't even explained to her the whole ordeal, she just knows that Miya has to move to New York. Not that our argument is still heavy on my mind, not the fact that we broke up for good.

And my last word to her was "Goodbye" the word that didn't promise a tomorrow for us.

"What would I say if I even called her?" I ask. "I don't even know where to start, and I... It's no point." I pause. "Cause I know if I talk to her, I'm gonna end up getting in my feelings, probably crying in front of her and..." I just stop talking and gulp down my emotions.

"You could start by telling her, that you're gonna support her and that you love her." Mom says.

I nod slowly, poking out my bottom lip. A sudden urge to just hold her fills my body. I want to hear her voice, hug her again. I want to tell her that no matter what I'd always be here for her, possibly I'd wait for her.

All these ideas of what to do, and what to say they just can't be done over the phone.

I glance at the ground then look up at my mom.