A logan Paul story (Completed)

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1 AM tattered sheets I lie awake thoughts flood my mind. I thought about is the what "ifs" never what could possibly happen I missed my chance now it's too late. I can't comprehend how much I will I regret not taking the chance the chances that could've possibly changed my life. the truth is i'm afraid of being alone sort of being alone scares me no one wants to be alone. I've been alone for so long that I don't know what it's like to have a companion. I realize that we're too young to understand these feelings but young love doesn't have an age limit, you could fall in love with someone that you hated for years but in the end it could  be someone that you could possibly spend the rest of your life with no one ever thinks about it that way because of thoughts the flood my mind At 1 am. 1 am is like my best friend we're always together someway or another most nights I find myself pondering thoughts at 3 AM. Logan is asleep and I'm wide awake. No one will love you why do you try? Just give up hope it's pointless to keep trying, trying to keep something alive that wasn't really a thing! Why oh why do I try in the end I'll just die no one would care, I ask myself each night before bed. He'll never like you he told you it was a joke but little did he know I had already feel deep in to a pit of emotions, contemplating my life decisions, decided whether or not to open up to him, everyone I seem to let in hurts me in away that is unable to fix. He was suppose to be a good guy a nice guy a guy I knew as funny guy. Just turned out to be another self centered asshole tryna get laid, but why me? Is it because he was desperate and knew I would say yes? Is it because I have features some girls would die for, features I dislike in many ways but some people enjoy them?!? Why did I fall like a fool obviously fools fall for him, I didn't realize the trail of heart breaks the lead behind him, how could I when I could get lost in those dreamy eyes, the amazing physical features! I seen depth and detail, he only saw me for more then physical features, he saw me as a toy more then a person. He toyed with my emotions, but I stayed captive in his stare. Fool me once shame on me, fools me twice... I'll only fall deeper and deeper, why should I try to stay madly head over heels for someone who barely talked to me, until a month ago? He talked to me every night, about the craziest things! I've never meet someone who I could be so happy with but feel so betrayed at the flick off a switch, he was a good friend, an amazing person, I complain about wanting to let go but I simply can't because today my heart was ripped in two one half for me,one half for you take a half and keep it near I have mine and always will be here! Crossing paths before the end once a lover forever friend, I hope you know I still admire you I hope you know I still desire you. I am ruin, ruined by another. It must hurt to know I was your first everything for everything now sloppy seconds! Actual thoughts I've had throughout the past two days.

   My thoughts aren't necessarily about logan, but a handful is, I could imagine life with out him...
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Riperoni I got into the feels with that one^^ 😕
Lots of love ❤️
-E