After the night Logan was here, it has become a thing. He's been over a couple times a week, it has been kinda awkward. I was a wreak, for the pasted hour or two ive been sitting on mine and alexs floor watching sad movies and some happy ones, but I find when the credits roll around I find myself "alone" its a feeling I get and I feel like no one is there and I feel unsafe with myself because in middle I was bullied as so much as teased you see I was one of those people who always wanted to fit in but most evertime I tryed to fit in I had someone push me down im talking like teachers, family members and my so called "friends".
I never tryed to fail in life but when i met my friend Liza its like she knew what I was going throught but, things kinda took a turn for the worse when I was in grade.6 this was the year I had gotten my first boy friend how I had though was really into me that was not the case he only liked my because I had boobs and other girls didnt, after he broke up with me because he liked another girl, i was so depressed and with that being i was lead to believe suicide was the best way out be and Cole (my boyfriend at the time) had wanted to get back together I was in denial and had said yes, not my best choice, two days after that I was sitting my in my art class with my headphones in and not a care in the world. My cuts hadn't fully healed but the still stung and were scabbed over. Cole walked but me and watched me paint then he deiced to hug me from behind don't get me wrong I was happy but I had my painting shirt on and it was a t-shirt so my cuts were visible. You know who it goes he flips out blah-blah-blah.
After thinking about school and stuff I realized I got my one true wish in life to have someone who loves me for me. I'm still confused about me and Logan, I made one good decision tonight and that was to call David after he didn't answer the first time I thought maybe Dom told him to ignore it. So I tried again, it rang and rang till David picked up I went on and said: "David I'm really lonely can you have Alex come home?" I waited for a responce and i heard something almost like stiffins coming from the otherside of the line. "How long have you been doing this?" What the fuck had gotten into David? "What do you mean we've been doing this since Logan and I broke up, you know I need Alex, I miss him!" I hit me that it wasn't David on the other line I just played my cool and heard the buzzing sound again, "Shey, I need you!" Logan sounded pissed "David, I need Alex! When I found out Logan cheated on me with Chantel he was there for me not once did he try to take advantage of me, and he comforted me, he knew what I was going through, goddamit he knew that if I walked out that night I would have ended my life all because I thought is I could forgive Logan." I heard dead silence on the other end then scrunching noises then Davids voice "Hello, if your still there what did you say to Logan to make him run out of here crying..." Oh shit what do i say umm.... "Heeey David I don't know what got to Logan all we did was have a conversation but I got to go so bye!!!" Before he answers I hung up
20 minutes after the "Call"
A loud knock came from our door, ignored it and stayed on mine and Alex's bed and some probably Logan knocked on our door, I walked over to the door and unlocked it. I turned around to see Alex standing there his face was red and puff he looked really sad but he had his head down so I quickly turned my head around again. "I want you to know what you did was completely stupid and a normal person would never take you back but last time I checked we weren't normal..." He looked up a little less hurt this time and smiled " Your right were beyond normal, and if i could but um...What happened?" I asked"Umm... I wanted to leave but Logan ran out and David told me not to!" I smiled a little then stopped. "What do you mean?" He looked up. " I missed your smile and your giggle I missed everything, I wanted to be here to comfort you!" He enclosed me in a hug I pushed him back "You know I love you right" He cut me off with a kiss I pushed him back again and said, "Alex I truly love you." I said smiling."I know that's why I got you this." He pulled out a bag from Rahlps. "Well you know I just might have to keep you around." I smiled I opened the bag and there were my favorite ice creams and a stuffed bunny in the bag. "You know what, I thought about that and you just might have to." I smiled, i set the bag down and hugged Alex and kissed him.
***
Alex and I decide on going to Jack in the Box, to grab something to eat and were now on our way back to the apartment, David greeted us and he wanted help on a video, we both agreed. I was speechless, not sure what to say I saw logan again. I walked into our room and got changed for Davids video and i felt like wearing something simple I walked to our closet. I grabbed jeans and a shirt. I was in the in the middle changing when Alex walked in. "Hey, babe almost ready?" He asked quietly. I nodded smiling.
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Thanks for reading!!!!!!
Lots of love
-Erica
