They Told You To Stay Away (Jalex)

Wonder if it's worth it

Chapter Seven
Title from Just The Way I'm Not by All Time Low.

What can throwing up a few times do to you?

It can help me lose weight, and it isn't like i'll do it everyday, so my teeth won't rot out or anything they say to scare you.

I need to lose weight, fast. I need to keep Danny.

No, I can't make myself throw up. That sounds so gross, I can't stand throwing up.

But maybe it's worth it. Being skinny would give me a really strong chance with Danny. He can't help that he likes skinny guys. He wasn't trying to be rude.

I bent over and tried to let my breathing slow down. Running was a new outlet for me, I suppose, but I know that the true reason I've been running is so I can lose weight. I run in the mornings, and after school. Totalling six miles a day. When I weighed this morning I was only at 164, I'm not losing weight fast enough. It isn't noticable in the slightest.

Danny and I are "together" again, if it can be called that. We hang out when I get off of work around eleven, and that always ends in sex. Since a few days ago when he said I was fat, he hasn't said it again. He did make a comment though.

I started running again, knowing that I have to push myself.

I remember when I was younger, there were girls on the news and 20/20, and they had starved themselves. They ended up being walking skeletons, with a liklihood to die.

I remember being afraid of people like that, people that could waste away just because they wanted to.

What if I could do that? I would stop when I got skinny enough, and I wouldn't turn into a human skeleton the way those girls did. I would stop at the perfect weight and then maintian. That would be so much easier than throwing my food up.

I could still run everyday, and I would eat a little bit to keep going, and I'll be the perfect size in no time.

I hope it works. I need it to work.

***

I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched Danny push Mike's older brother against one of the lockers. All of Danny's friends were laughing and poking fun.

The guy hit the locker and immediately fell, causing more people to start laughing. He looked up at them, with an expression of complete fear and innocence. I felt so angry.

Angry that they could hurt him even when he's never done anything to them. Angry that it was Danny being a hypocryte.

The lunch bell just rung, these people should be going to lunch instead of terrorizing others. How is this world like this? Why do people need to hurt each other?

I decided to intervene, I walked over to the guy on the ground, with the intention of helping him up. Dannys friend had other plans.

I was shoved in one quick push "look who decided to join us? It's like a faggot party, now" Dannys friend spat, causing the others to laugh.

I immediately looked to Danny for any kind of humaity, but he wouldn't even look at me. Instead, he bent down, and used his hand to push Mike's brother into the locker again even though he was already on the ground.

Dannys friend stepped closer to me "leave me alone" I said firmly, standing my ground. If things get bad enough, Danny will stop them, right? How did he even let it get this far?

The breath was knocked out of me when I had a hard punch delivered to my stomach.

God, i'm about to throw up. My knees buckled under me and I fell beside the boy that was already on the ground.

"Hey! Whats going on?" I heard the voice of a teacher, which made it easier to swallow the thick saliva that filled my mouth.

Danny was the first one to run, followed by literally all of the boys that were part of it. The teacher didn't bother chasing him, and I recognized him as Mr.Way, one of the teachers in the English department.

Danny ran? Without even making sure I was okay, without even looking at me, he ran. I felt tears well up in my eyes, and it wasn't only because I was punched in the stomach. "Are you guys alright?" he asked softly as soon as he got to us.

"Yes" the guy beside me said as he got up, and reached a hand to me. I took it and thanked him as I got up.

Mr.Way gave us both a concerned look "Hey, you guys can come back to my room and we can make a report. It'll be alright" he assured us, waiting for us to start following him.

"Sorry, I-uh I'm getting picked up early so I have to go" I said, still trying to get my breathing back to normal. I just need to go home. I feel extremely nauseous.

Both Mr.Way and the boy eyed me, giving me concerned looks. Mr.Way gave me a light smile and nodded "I'm here if you ever need anything" he said.

"Thank you"

***

"Did you cover for me?" Danny asked, as soon as he got in my house.

I furrowed my eyebrows. There's no way he expects me to cover for him, when he's the one that hurt another guy and watched when they punched me.

"How was I supposed to do that? I didn't report it, I had to go home because I was sick because your best friend punched me in the gut so hard I almost threw up" I said, getting a bit of an attitude with him. I know I shouldn't, but it really hurt me that he watched his friends hurt me and didn't even make sure that I was okay.

"I'm not the one that punched you, don't act like I did" he snapped, shaking his head as if I was overreacting.

"But you were beating up on that other guy" I argued, wondering if he really expected it to be okay with me.

"Vic can handle it" he stated, rolling his eyes.

I shook my head "You bully people for being gay, you literally bully people for being what you are too" I called him out, regretting it when I saw the way he looked. I don't think i've ever seen him so angry.

"I'm not with you so you can fucking bitch at me about what I do" he was raising his voice now.

"Danny, you hurt people" I tried to reason, needing him to understand the impact he had on others.

"Hey, fuck you. I've done so much good for you, I even gave you another chance after I heard you were running around like a whore" He yelled, getting closer and closer to my face. I'm absolutely terrified.

"You didn't even make sure I was okay, you-"

My face was struck hard with his hand. It felt like a hot iron to my cheek. My hand instantly flew to my face and I was crying before I even realized it. It took me a second to even realize that the guy I loved was the one that hurt me.

"Don't try to make me look like the fucking bad guy" he said in an extremely dominant tone, still standing close to me.

I felt my chest heave and I was only able to let short gasps of air in. Why would he do that?

I expected him to leave, but he didn't. He stayed even as I had to get myself to the couch so I could try to calm down. Sobs wracked my body, I've never felt so unimportant and hurt in my life.

I'm doing so many things to just be enough for him.