They Told You To Stay Away (Jalex)

Recipe for disaster

Chapter Seventeen
Title from Circles by All Time Low

I closed the last book that I had to read, Different Seasons. Out of each of the books, I loved one of the short stories in Different Seasons the most. The short story was titled "The Body" and it's about a group of friends going out to look for the body of a missing boy from their town. Though it is much deeper of a story than that. It's about friendship.

Rose Madder was what I expected from Stephen King, it was full of anxiety, and still there were a few good laughs I got out of it.

I sighed when I heard Tammy enter the room, holding my tray of food that I'm expected to eat.

Eating is still difficult, but I've learned that I have to eat some, even if I have to cut it into a million pieces. Which is very hard to do with a plastic utensil.

At first I said that I was vegetarian so I would only have to eat some of the stuff from the salad, but they realized that I wasn't gaining weight, and declared that I needed to have food with more nutritional value.

Can they even do that? Force me to stop being vegetarian?
When they feed me through a tube it has meat in it.

Meat has so many calories.

Eating is difficult, but I'm not going to let anyone stop me from throwing up later. Throwing up is disgusting, but it's become a new norm for me, though I can never get it all up and that makes me feel worse.
There's a perfect three hour period between two and five where everyone is quiet, and the nurses aren't parading the hallways looking for someone to do something wrong, and that's when I throw up.

They don't tell you exactly how many points you lose for each thing, but I've learned. I've learned from listening to others and dissecting my final grades. I think most people pick up on those things.

I've learned what the psychiatrists specialize in, I learned that the average person is in here for a month and a half.

I looked down at the turkey sandwich on white toast, lettuce sticking out of the side of the sandwich. My side was colored greens. Yuck.

What can I eat out of this?
I'll eat the lettuce and some of the turkey. I can't do the bread. I suppose I'll have to eat a few bites of colored greens. That should be enough to not need the tube.

I picked up my fork and lifted the bread off of the sandwich. I grabbed the lettuce off the top and used my fingers to pull it apart.

It's okay, it's just lettuce.

I put one of the small pieces in my mouth and avoided the strange look from my nurse. She's seen me do things like this several times, she shouldn't still be surprised.

I continued to eat the lettuce slowly. Very slowly, as I always do.

When she watches me it just makes it harder.

"Hey, could you put this up?" I asked, handing her the last book I had to read. She got up and took it from me, turning to put it back in my drawer.
As she did so, I slipped two of the three slices of turkey under my blanket. This is something I do as much as I can, but she watches me like a hawk most of the time.

I picked up the last piece of turkey and tore small pieces from it. Putting it in my mouth and chewing slowly.

I wonder how many calories I'm getting?