A/N: I'm not sure if this is triggering but just in case it is, please proceed with caution as this chapter contains heavy alcohol use and intense desperation.
P.S. 18K?? Thank you!
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It had been months since your last correspondence and still, Steve was struggling to adjust to life without you. Unlike you, he still had his darkness to tame. Something that was easier said than done.
Some days he felt that he could rule the world that, nothing could stand in his way of his journey to recovery but then there were the more difficult days, the ones where he could hardly function or think of anything but you.
Diana knew that it was a bad day. One of the days where he stumbled in drunk at 4 in the morning, reeking of alcohol but loverless. When he was loverless, it was a bad day. Lovers lifted his mood, provided him with something he would otherwise have to pay for.
But it was not one of those good nights, it was a bad one. Diana watched as the young man returned to his empty apartment, green beer bottle in hand and clothing rumpled. She noticed the lipstick marks on his collar but where was the inebriated companion? She assumed that they had had their fun but did not care about his needs.
The female was desperate to ask the male if he was okay but she knew that with this particular situation, it was always better to remain silent and allow the episode to pass, rather than interfere with matters that 'did not concern her'. They did concern Diana though, she cared deeply about all of her friend and it distressed the princess to see him in this state of mind.
He stumbled into the living room, taking care not to trip over the intricate rug you had purchased when you both had first move into the cramped space. He hated the rug but you had insisted that it would look good and 'brighten up the place'.
With you absent, the drinking and the multiple partners had become a regular pastime in his life. Initially it had just been the drinking but soon the lovers had been added into the equation. Lovers made things all the more enjoyable when drunk but all the more painful when he woke up the in morning next to a stranger, whose name he couldn't even remember.
He walked over to the large window that overlooked the magnificent city. In the early morning light, the apartment buildings were bathed in a soft, violet hue. Everything looked powdery soft, unlike at night when the neon lights are blaring and the city was a blur with noise and life. No, at this time everything was much calmer and pleasant.
He felt dead inside. He saw no beauty in the landscape before him. The rising sun only ever reminded him now that it was going to be another day he had to face Diana's disapproving gaze.
Leaning his head on the glass, his vision was blurred by the involuntary tears that now escaped his red, sore eyes. The salt stung as it made trails down his cheeks. He embraced the pain, it reminded him that he was still alive. It cut through the alcohol's anaesthetic affect. His agony was no longer numbed by the toxic substances he had consumed but were now brought to the surface.
He sunk to the floor, reduced to a quivering mess. The cool glass burnt his cheek as he leant against it. This was how he spent most of his free time, crying over his loss.
Diana could no longer watch Steve suffer in such a way. To verbally question his actions was a waste of time and energy. Instead she had another method that she had found occasionally helpful and would sometimes provided him with a respite from the pain.
Searching through his records, Diana came across just what she was looking for. In a matter of moments, the soft voice of a singer gently spread through the apartment, filling every dark corner with it's light and breathy voice. This song was one of his favourites.
He instantly recognised it and for a minute, forgot about his sorrow. He listened silently, memorising each lyric carefully.
As he sat there against the window, his eyelids began to feel heavy. He wasn't sure if the tiredness was from the alcohol or the song. Whatever was causing it, he was grateful for the oncoming blissful unaware. He welcomed anything that may ease him of the grey clouds that plagued his mind.
Just as he was about to slip away, he knew that he had someone to thank. Booze and lovers were not enough to fill the void left in his heart, caused only by his on recklessness. He only had himself to blame.
Thankfully he had someone watching out for him. "G'night, Diana." he slurred.
"Goodnight, Steve." she replied, allowing the track's soothing melody to carry her friend into a hopefully, peaceful sleep...
