whipped

ㅡ lisa's diary: entry #249

i saw them together again.

it stung. my best friend and ex-lover together. and i had to act like i didnt care. and honestly, id give myself a round of applause. i did a pretty good job acting the opposite way of what im truly feeling. i can star in a drama now, should i try to audition?

im upset. i cant deny that. but i dont have the right to be. i mean, i left him, and though it shocked me he moved on pretty easily.

i thought it was just a fake relationship at first. i knew how much jungkook loved me so i was confident. but boy, how wrong i was. because time passed and i noticed something. something that kept me awake at night, crying.

he was looking at her the way he looked at me. i know that look all too well, and i thought it was only for me, but it guess it belongs to someone else now. somebody else owns his heart. and i have no right to get hurt because i let this happen.

sometimes i wonder, what if i told him the reason why instead of keeping it to myself? i think he'd get mad. he'd get mad and ask why im dealing with this on my own. he'd hug me and tell me we're in this together, and he wouldnt let anyone hurt me and what we have. but will he? i guess you cant really blame me for doubting his feelings now that he moved on in a month with my best friend out of all people.

anyway, hanbin and i went out yesterday. he confessed to, said that he was in love with me, and i laughed, thought he was joking. but he teared up, and i stopped. he asked me to consider, to give him a chance, while holding my hands and looking at me in the eye.

and now i really am considering it.

maybe its time to accept that jungkook isnt my soulmate. maybe he's happier with chaeng than he'll ever be with me.

and i hope bad luck will follow that person who pushed me to leave the love of my life. i hope that person drowns and gets skinned alive.

i hope this will be the last entry that will involve jungkook, my dearest diary. ill do my best to move on now, just like he did three months ago. i overheard chaeng saying that they'll come out to the public soon. i wanted to do that with him. i wanted to show the world our relationship.

but that dream shall go to the trash now. i shall forget about it, and replace it with a more realistic one.

love,
lisa.

💫

yo me is back surprise surprise

anyw since i wouldnt do a sequel, i decided to publish five special parts that will lead to something special. please anticipate lmfao. thanks for reading and remember that youre cute