Chap 42.5

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~Dom~

Have you ever had your heart snatched out of your chest and stomped on right in front of you? No I don't think you have, or you wouldn't be alive to read this. This is how I feel. I feel alone, worthless like nothing in this world would brighten my day again. The sunset will never be breath taking again. A football game will never be fun again.

Nothing matters but her.

I was so torn inside I couldn't muster the courage to say her name or my world would crash completely to my feet and there would be no coming back. She left, rejected me. For the life of me I never would have guess it would hurt this bad. Now I understand why a man would become a rouge wolf. I knew now why they are so bitter and angry because this is the worst punishment a man or woman could ever go through.

My life was never meant to be this way. I was supposed to find her, we fall madly in love and watch her grow with my pups. Sit in the back yard together and watch our pups play while we laugh with joy. We were supposed to grow old together.

No this, I was never meant to find her then lose her in less than a month. I couldn't get her look of horror out of my head, it haunted me in my sleep and throughout my days. I definitely couldn't shake the sound of her blood curdling scream from bouncing around in my head constancy sending shivers of agony though my body. Why, why did this happen to us.

I thought if I showed her the real me she would be accepting, a little freak out of course, I could have handled that but she ran from me. A grunt of pain left my lips as a shot of fire pierced through my heart. I collapsed against the wall outside sliding down, my legs refused to hold my weight anymore. I clutched at my chest, a grimace on my face as I waited for it to pass. This has been happening more often, I think it was her letting me go further and further from her heart and life. It was tearing me apart the more she pushed me away. I ruggedly breathed through the pain for a few minutes till it faded but always lay dormant for the next time she let herself forget a piece of me go.

Tears built in my eyes, I didn't want her to forget me, I wanted her to love me. I brought my knees up to my chest and lay my head down on them. This wasn't fair. I would forever have a hole in my heart. I know that I asked Liam to help me but I was just being selfish, he had his own mate to deal with; he doesn't need my mate problems on his shoulders too. I began choking on my sobs.

She was so lucky, she could forget me because she was human, she would be forever in my mind and heart even if it's incomplete and always will be.

"Dominic?" The Alpha's voice had me shooting my head up out of surprise. Shit! I scrambled up to my feet. I couldn't have him see me so weak when I was going to be the next beta out of some miracle.

"Alpha." I inclined my head down standing at attention, showing him respect with my eyes cast down. He had Wyatt our beta next to him and he was giving me a sympathetic look. I cringed.

"What are you doing?" Alpha asked me.

"Nothing sir." I nodded looking over to Wyatt my Beta.

"Come take a walk with us." He said giving me a gentle smile. This was our Alpha, he was one of the best a pack could have. Refine, charming, generous, caring along with strict and stern all the quality's an Alpha need to be a great leader. He passed all those traits down to his son and I knew this pack was in good hands

I nodded and quietly followed them as they went over the estate looking for thing to fix and change. They were talking amongst themselves and I was starting to get annoyed as to why the hell they wanted me to walk with them if they were just going to ignore me. I could be wallowing in self-pity right now. I sighed as I watched the two men, I was envious of them of one thing though. They had women who loved them unconditionally; they never knew the feeling of what a rejection could do to you.

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