Fake Love

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Johnnys POV

I walked hand in hand with my friend Ponyboy. We were one of those kids who liked to just show affection even if we weren't dating.

I actually really liked Pony, that's how I found out I was bisexual. He's my first ever guy-crush.

When I was over his house, we both admitted that we liked each other but he didn't want a relationship.

That was 3 months ago.

During school we would be very affectionate, holding hands in the halls to kissing each other's cheek. I'd always turn a deep crimson color and he'd laugh.

His eyes...

They're a green, not an emerald green. A dark green, the color of birch tree leaves in the summer. And on the perimeter of his pupil, are yellow lines, as if a little 1st grader were too draw the sun with yellow streaks of how webbed feet of ducks are. His eyes shine like no one else's I've ever seen. I get lost in his eyes, fighting my way through the jungle, trying to find my way out. If I were to look into his eyes forever I would be on the verge of death because of how many beautiful things come out of that jungle.

"Johnny? Johnny." Ponyboy angelic voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Y-yeah?" He let go of my hand and motioned to the classroom.

"We're here, are you alright?" He tilts his head like a cute little puppy.

"Yeah, just got lost in my thoughts." I blushed from embarrassment. He started walking away, but not before he gave me a quick hug and scurried off to his classroom.

I walked in my classroom without another word.
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"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" I screamed as I throw my phone onto my dark blue bed cover.

Two-bit tried calming me down but I just couldn't.

"Johnny it's okay, what time did you do it?"

"I-I don't know. A-around 4 or 5, it's 7 and he hasn't responded. I'm terrified! I didn't mean to send it, it was just a thought that I wrote and then when I meant to press delete, it hit send." I sat on the bed, putting my head in my hands.

At 4:45, I typed out 'Will you go out with me?' Onto my messages with Pony. I honestly didn't mean to press send, but I just wanted his answer, to see if he actually liked me. Instead I might've just ruined our friendship.

Now I was sitting in my room with Two-bit trying to figure out how to fix it.

I know he's going to say no but, what if he says yes? Then we'll be the same as before but more than friends.
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That night he didn't respond. He just read it and didn't respond.

Right now, I was completely and utterly terrified.

The ride to the school was just repeating his might be future words in my head, no no no...

But what if he just planned to run towards me and land in my arms yelling excitedly yes yes yes?

I can only fantasize right?

As I stepped off the yellow box truck, also known as the bus, I put my head down and stuck my hands in my pockets.

Two-Bit met up with me before first hour but I didn't talk. I haven't seen Pony yet and if I did then I would run the opposite way. I was to scared to confront him.

By now it was time to go to into the classroom and I could see his back towards me. He sat right next to me in this class. Crap.

I walked in slowly with my head down and my heart was beating out of my chest. My breathing sped up as I pulled my chair out so I could sit.

"Hey Johnny." He said as if nothing happened. Did I even want to respond?

"H-hi..." I never looked at him once.

"I'm sorry I didn't respond...I didn't know how to respond. But I did tell you that I didn't want a relationship...so no...I'm sorry..." And that's all he said. I'm sorry.

"I-its okay." I said trying to steady my voice.

That was all we said to each other the whole day. After class I practically ran out, usually I would walk Pony to his class, but I never wanted to see him again. I can't even stand to hear his name.

When I got to the band room, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom so technically I wouldn't be late.
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Just before fifth hour started, Two-Bit ran in and set his stuff down on the desk then walked over to me.

"Johnny did you hear? Ponys dating Cherry!" He practically yelled. I made a tiny gasp and I felt something break inside. Tears welled up in my eyes and I gripped onto the desk for dear life.

I tried not to make any noise, I even stopped breathing.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I shook my head no and ran out of the classroom, straight to the bathroom where I locked myself in the stall and cried.

After about 10 minutes I calmed myself and dried my tears.

Footsteps entered the bathroom and someone called my name.

"Johnny?" Steve called.

"Y-yeah?" It slips from my mouth and so I unlock the door and stand there. He looks down at me with pity.

"Are you okay? The teacher sent me to come get you.."

"Can you tell him that I feel sick and I'm just going to go home?" I shift from foot to foot, fiddling with my hands.

"Sure, but why? You don't look sick" He answered.

"I-I am...please just do that for me.." He nodded his head and walked me to the office and then left.
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My mother came to pick me up and Steve brought me my stuff to the office.

My mom thought I was actually sick so she made stay in bed all day, which I was fine with. I didn't want to see or talk with anyone.

But of course, Two-Bit and Steve dropped off along with Soda. Why soda? Because him and Steve were best friends.

When they entered my room, I turned towards the wall and pretended I was asleep.

What makes me upset is the fact that I had asked Pony out the day before, he said he didn't want a relationship, then later on he has a girlfriend? So I guess he really doesn't like me. He was my best friend. Now I absolutely hate him.

Everything he said, everything he told me, was a lie.

"Hey Johnny, wake up. I know you're not sick." Two-Bit shook me until I grabbed his arm harshly.

"What is it? What do you want?" I spat before apologizing.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get angry with y'all..." I sat my legs over the side of the bed and kept my head down. He sat next to me and rubbed my back.

"It's okay Johnny, we all get angry sometimes. But, what happened?" Steve asked.

"I-I..." My vision started getting blurry and hot tears fell from my eyes and I whimpered.

"Hey, it's okay Johnny. Do you want me to tell them?" Two asked and I nodded, leaning into him more.

"Well..basically.." and he told them the whole story.

Soda frowned along with Steve who gave me another look filled with pity. Two continued to hold me while finishing up.

"I'm sorry John, I don't even know why he would do that..." Soda said.

"Because he doesn't love me..." I mumbled.

Comment if you want a part 2 because I have a lot more to tell•

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