Severus Snape

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CW: Self harm and mentions of child abuse

~~~~

You're happy to be back at Hogwarts, christmas break is always the worst, well, any time you spend at home with your parents is the worst. Things weren't so bad two years ago but last year you came out to your parents as trans, to say they didn't take it well would be an understatement.

Ever since then your mom ignores you or throws insults, it hurts of course but you can handle that. It's your dad that you can't handle, he throws insults around, like your mother, but he likes to get physical. You still have a black eye and a few bruises on your stomach to attest for it. He says 'If you want to pretend to be a boy, I'll treat you like a boy.', then he beats you.

You can't understand why they hate you so much for just being you... Then again, you hate you too. You sigh as you look over that the clock next to your bed. There's still an hour before most people get up and ready for breakfast and classes, but you can't sleep, so you just quietly go to the showers.

Once in the shower you let your eyes close feeling the warm water run down your body. After the relaxing moment, you grab the soap trying not to pay attention to the body parts you're cleaning. But you can't, you have to pay attention...

Tears spring to your eyes as you hear your parents insults in your head so clear it's like they're in the room. You put your hands over your ears while shaking your head hoping the voices would stop. It's all in vain though, and you just can't take it, you need it all to just go away. You go into your little shower bag and take out the small cool piece of stainless steel. You place it on your wrist making sure to slice in between the other marks that are scabbed over and are trying to heal. You slice again and again craving the pain, craving the numbness.

Finally you're drained of energy and let the blade fall back into the bag as you just stand there numbly watching the soap mix with the blood as it washes down the drain. You perform a simple healing spell so the cuts scab over before carefully drying off and getting dressed for the day. 

As you walk out of the common room you notice more and more people getting up. The Great Hall was almost silent when you walked in, only a handful of people were there. You make your way to your table, sitting at the end closest to the teachers table. You notice Snape glaring at a biscuit like it had murdered his family, it made you smile and let out a quiet chuckle.

~~~~

Your classes were miserable but somehow you made it through without drawing unwanted attention to yourself. There's just one more class before you can run off to the library to hide until it's time for dinner. You make your way to said class and take your seat, closest to Snape's desk. This class shouldn't be too bad though, it was your favorite class after all. Yes, you know it's weird that your favorite class is potions and your favorite teacher is the potions professor.

You got teased for a lot of things and Snape being your favorite teacher is definitely one of them. Granted you don't get bullied as bad as a few unfortunate second year Hufflepuff's and it's nowhere near as bad as back home, but with that being said, you still have no friends and get teased about 'thinking she's a boy' and 'having a crush on Snape the dungeons bat'. You'd like to state you've never given off any signs of having a crush on the professor besides maybe staring at him a bit longer than necessary but even so, you hate how everyone just hates on Snape. Yes, he's not perfect, he's kind of an asshole but everyone can be an asshole...

Finally Snape walks in with his black cloak billowing behind him. The class goes pretty smoothly, with the exception of a poor quiet Ravenclaw boy who spilled ink everywhere and Snape took about three dozen points and gave out detention, although you weren't as active in class as you usually are. You usually participate in class more than one would think, you actually love most of your classes and like to answer questions and sometimes even ask your own, especially in potions. But lately you just... Can't. You can't bring yourself to put any more effort into pretending to be fine, so you just sit quietly hoping you'll go unnoticed and so far it's working.

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