I'll Wait Forever

-36-

Frank's P.O.V.

"Frank? Yo, Frankie boy." Emma called as she knocked on my door. I didn't answer. "I know you're in there... Come on, open up. Please?" I gave in and wandered over to the knob and unlocked it. "Fucking finally... What's wrong dude? I feel like I hardly get to see you anymore."

"Nothing, Emma... I just... I'm just going through some stuff right now and I need my space." I flopped back onto my bed.

"Okay... Well Pete and I are really worried about you. You don't seem like yourself. I know this stuff with Gerard has been rough, but you need to move past it. And I'm here to help." Emma smiled reassuringly and rested her hand on my back.

"I don't want your fucking pity and I don't need your help." I snapped.

"Fine... Well if you change your mind you know where I am. If you change your mind, you know where to find me." And with that, Emma retreated back to her room, leaving me alone once more. It seems I've been alone a lot lately.

I pulled open my bedside drawer and grabbed my pack of cigarettes and slipped them into my backpack. Then I jogged outside before anyone else in the house could question me and made my Way back into the woods. I pushed through the brush on the edge and continued walking until the I heard the sound of rushing water in the distance. Finally.

I took a deep breath as I stared at the waterfall in front of me, following every beautiful twist and and swirl with my eyes. Eventually, I set down my backpack and made my way over to a small area overlooking the waterfall. It was a little divot in the side of a tall rock cluster, making it so that it was like a small room. Three of the 'walls' being rocks and the fourth being the entrance that looks over the edge of the waterfall. The rocks were also positioned to where they made a slight roof about ten feet up, which offered some protection when it rained.

This place had been my safe haven since Gerard and I had parted Ways. This place was also where Gerard had brought me and told me about his brother; the place where his brother died. The place where Gerard had nearly killed himself.

I don't know why I keep coming back here... Maybe it's because it's the one place where I don't feel alone. Truly and utterly alone.

Sure, I have my friends. And I care for all of them as I know they care for me, but... They don't understand me how Gerard did. They didn't take me in when my own parents didn't want me. They have never made me feel as important as Gerard did. But at the same time... They also didn't break my heart with a few sheets of paper and no real goodbye.

The one person I thought I could trust more than anyone broke me. And that's all there is to it.

I sighed as I let my gaze refocus once more at the scene in front of me. Absolutely stunning. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it without looking away from the waterfall. It was mesmerizing.

My mind wandered once more, thinking over everything that had happened. But letting myself climb over every detail again and again did nothing to help me or ease my mind. Nothing helped anymore.

I stood, cigarette in hand, and made my way to the overhang. I closed my eyes and envisioned myself falling off, ending everything. It would be so easy. So fucking easy. But I still couldn't quite bring myself to slip off the edge, both here and in my mind. I had to hold on, because that's the only thing I can do at this point: hold on and hope for better days.

I opened my eyes and stepped back, releasing the breath I didn't know I was holding. I moved backwards until I felt the cool rock against my back, snapping me back into reality. I slid down the wall and sat with my knees in front of me as I felt a tear fall down my face. It landed on my forearm, causing me to wince and pull my sleeves down. I felt another tear slip from my eye, followed by more and more. Eventually, I just gave in and sobbed, knowing that there was no one around to hear me, and that there was no one that would even care.