I Hope You Dance (Artemi Panarin)

I Love You Theory

Gabriella

"So I'm going to be gone for a while" Artemi starts as we sit in a restaurant. He wanted to take me on the date and I think I'm just now figuring out why.

"How long is a while" I ask a bit concerned.

"Two weeks" he says and my eyes go big.

"Wow... That is a while" I admit.

"I know, and I really don't want to go but I don't really have a choice" he defends.

"You don't have to explain your job to me Artemi, I know you guys travel. I've been working with Jon for some time now. I've always known that you guys are gone a lot. I just didn't think I would be this sad that you're leaving" I admit.

"You can come with" he suggests.

"I'm no roadie. I can barley leave my own house let along go wherever you're going for two whole weeks" I defend.

"I figured. Just thought I would at least ask" he shrugs.

"Where all are you going" I ask trying to lighten the conversation.

"Up to Edmonton, Calgary, and Vancouver then down to San Jose, Anaheim, and LA" he says.

"Jeeze, they have you guys running around like crazy" I notice.

"Meanwhile you can enjoy the circus at the UC" he laughs.

"I will never step foot in a circus" I defend.

"Why not" he wonders.

"There is a alarming rate of malpractice on the animals. They're mistreated and forced to do unnatural things. I will not entertain them with my money and my attention to torture animals in front of my eyes, Hell no" I shake my head and he smiles big at me. "I hate when you look at me like that" I blush.

"Like what" he asks.

"Like I'm speaking another language" I defend.

"Sometimes to me you are" he reminds me.

"You're funny" I smile.

"What are you going to do while I'm gone" he asks.

"Lay down and die I guess" I sigh over dramatically and he laughs.

"Oh now you got jokes" he teases.

"I got a few" I nod. "But I'll probably go around to some schools and talk to the kids. I'll check up on some clients to see how they've been doing" I shrug.

"Why don't you hang out with Lindsey and Amanda" he asks.

"That's not how I work in my mind. It's never as easy as just hanging out with friends" I defend.

"You do it with me all the time" he insists.

"My rules don't apply to you" I insist. He gives me that look again causing my face to heat up and I turn my head away from his stare.

"I like your blush, it's really cute" he claims.

"I am never going to get used to that" I shake my head.

After dinner we decide to go to the pier. It was kind of quiet on this November night giving me a peace of mind. It helps when Artemi has his arm secured around my side keeping me warm under his arm. I look up to him as his eyes set on the lights and random things at the pier. I couldn't help but smile as his brown curls spill from under his hat.

"What was it like coming to a city like this" I ask.

"You ask a lot of questions" he notices.

"I love learning about you" I defend. He smiles down at me or makes me so warm inside.

"It was kind of scary. It's been three months and I'm still learning every day. But I love what I'm being taught. I mean I came here for hockey but I've learned that it's not just about what I do on the ice. It's about who I am off of it too and it's just as important. I don't know... I wasn't expecting to find what I found here" he shrugs.

"What did you find" I ask and he smiles down at me.

"Love" he replies simply and I stop walking.

"What" I ask.

"I found love. I love this city, I love this team... but not more than I love you" he explains.

"How do you know when you love someone" I ask.

"There's not a exact moment or time where you fall in love. It's slow and long and beautiful. You can't go out and find love, love finds you like you found me. Love to me is wanting to be by your side always. It's waking up and wondering what your doing, it's going to sleep and hoping that you're thinking of me too. Being in love is me learning something every day of my life that I ever knew because you opened my eyes to a whole new world. To me love is understanding things that are so new to me simply because it involves you and I want to know everything there is to know about you. Love is watching you do all these things for the first time just for me. And even though you're scared you still do them because you feel something for me too. But only you know what that is" he insists.

"I don't know what I'm feeling" I admit.

"That's okay. You don't need to know yet" he claims.

"I want to know" I whisper.

"You don't have to say it just because I did. It's just.. I'm leaving for a while and I wanted you to know. Just because I'm gone doesn't mean feelings will change. If anything they'll get stronger because I'll miss you so much. I just needed to tell you" he claims.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess" I sigh.

"No no, don't you apologize for anything. I don't want you to apologize for anything anymore" he claims.

"I might not know what I'm feeling but I know I have felt so much regret. I know that no matter what happens I will always apologize for the way I am. There's a reason I never dated or had friends and it's because I feel like I'm constantly being a burden. I can't do things on free whim like everyone else and I get stuck in my head and I can't get out. And that sucks because someone like you who is so great can't hear what they deserve because I don't know what to say besides I'm sorry" I explain.

"I'm not sorry" he claims turning to me. He takes my face in one hand and pulls me close with the other. He pulls me close so I have to look him in his eyes and it made me that much more confused. "I love you Gabriella Watson, and there isn't a damn thing I would change about you. Do I wish that you didn't have to go through all that shit? More than anything. But I know I wouldn't have the honor of holding the woman I am today if you didn't get through being the woman you were yesterday. You're growing Gabby, and you can't expect for everything to make sense in one day. I don't want you to say it because you feel like you have to. I'm more than okay waiting for it to make more sense to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking some time to figure things out" he insists.

"Why are you so good to me" I ask.

"Because I love you."