I Hope You Dance (Artemi Panarin)

How to Love Theory

Artemi

After having a good time in Canada it was out to the west coast for some fun but mostly hockey.

After our San Jose game we find ourself in a little bar. It was subtle but the boys wanted a drink and I wanted chicken wings and I wasn't paying for this so how could I say no?

It was most of the team attending but I ended up with Jonny, Anisimov, and Patrick at a table. They all order drinks and I order my tea before sitting back in my seat.

"So rookie, how are you liking the nhl life" Patrick asks.

"It's good. Don't really get out much but traveling to these places are cool" I shrug.

"Chicago's the best city you'll be in. I assure you that" Jonny insists.

"I love Chicago. It's a beautiful city and I love the people there" Patrick nods.

"I do love someone there" I smile.

"Ohhh spill it Breadman. Did you confess your love to mystery girl" Patrick asks.

"Okay, first off this isn't 1800 Shakespeare, I didn't tell her I loved her then drank poison or however that story goes. Second of all, she's not a mystery girl, you have meet her before" I laugh.

"You totally missed the point" he insists.

"Fine, I did tell her I love her" I admit.

"That-a-boy" Jonny cheers.

"And she didn't say it back" I continue and it falls silent. Everyone looks around the table not sure what to say as they shift in their seats.

"Are you okay" Jonathan asks.

"Yeah... why wouldn't I be okay" I ask.

"To love someone who doesn't love you back... that's kind of hard" he insists.

"I never said she doesn't love me back. I just said she never said it back" I defend.

"That's the same thing" Patrick argues.

"It's not. It's hard for her to say it because of the things she knows, the stuff she's been through. But just because she can't say she loves me doesn't mean she doesn't love me. It just means it's hard for her to say it" I explain.

"If she loved you she would say it" Patrick insists.

"It's not that easy. You say she's mysterious but she's no mystery to me. I understand her, why she does and says the things she does. And I don't need you to understand for me to know what I'm doing is the right thing" I defend.

Before he answers a girl comes over to us and stops at our table. She gives a kind smile to everyone before her eyes settle on me.

"Hey cutie" she starts and I raise a eyebrow. "Wanna dance" she asks and I shake my head.

"I'm flattered but no thank you" I reply and Patrick kicks me under the table. He nudged his head towards her like I should have said yes or something.

"Aww come on, I won't tell no one" she insists.

"I'm sorry, but I have a girlfriend" I defend.

"No he doesn't" Patrick says and I squint at him.

"I do. We've been together for three months and I'm planning on it being many more" I insist.

"She won't say she loves him back" he adds on.

"Patrick" Jonny warns.

"That's none of your concern. You know not every pretty face was handed things so they are able to say and do things without caution. Not every girl is okay with just throwing that word around and accepting the consequences of mishandling it. I know she loves me, Love isn't something you say, it's something you feel. She's told me she loves me many times before in other ways besides words. I'm sorry you can't understand that love isn't causal sex and eating dinner together. It's not saying I love you and it meaning nothing, it can be saying nothing and it meaning everything.

I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to snap in front of you. I'm sure you're a great girl and you are a very pretty. But you're not my girl, no one will ever be like her and that's nothing you should change. I'm just not interested" I say getting up.

"That's okay. She sound important to you" the girl smiles.

"She is" I admit.

I excuse myself and go out for some fresh air. I argue with Patrick a lot, that's nothing new. The guys are used to it. We're alike and not alike in many ways and it shows. We'll get over it sooner rather than later but I just needed some space and time.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and let out a groan, just what I needed.

But I smile when I see Gabriella's name pop up.

*(1) New Message from Gabriella 🌹*
Hi sweetie! I hope you had a good day. I was able to watch the game and Hank and I are super proud of you. I can't wait until you're back home. I have so much left over tea from the past week I could suffice a small Russian village. Just wanted to say hi and that I'm thinking of you. Come home soon please ❤️

I sit on the side of the street and stare at my phone. I know our relationship isn't like most, in fact it's unlike anything I've ever had before. It's hard to explain and quite frankly impossible to put into words, even if it's just one simple word and that word is love. I type a reply and press send before sticking my phone back in my pocket.

Hey baby! My day was pretty good, glad we could get a win tonight. Thanks always for the support, it might not seem like it but that means the world to me. Give Hank extra love for cheering me on beside you. Hope all is well in Chicago and I can't wait to be back.

"Hey man, are you good" Jonathan asks sitting next to me.

"Yeah" I laugh. "You know the first thing Corey told me when I got here was to not take love advice from Kaner" I ask and he starts cracking up.

"He is not wrong" he nods.

"I'm not crazy... right" I ask.

"No man, you're not. I get what you're saying. Gabriella... she's wired differently. Now I don't know what makes her like that, but I know I would be stupid to expect her to do much anything like other people. That includes loving" he insists.

"She is the bravest soul I have ever met. I mean, the things she knows is just amazing" I sigh.

"I know. I've known her for over a year and she amazes me every day. I might be this sports figure in hockey but she built me. She's the force behind my speeches and who I help and how. She knew nothing about hockey and helped us win a cup last year. And when I went to thank her she told me no, thank you for listening. And with that much knowledge comes with the pain of going through what it takes to know that. I know she's hurting, and I'm happy it's you easing that pain" he admits.

"It's not always easy, but I do really love her. So much" I insist.

"I know buddy. And I know she loves you too" he smiles.

"Wait... how do you know" I ask.

"I know things" he defends.

"Uh huh" I smirk.

"You don't need to hear it from me. Come in, let's get you back to the hotel, we got a few hard games coming up" he laughs.

I get back to the hotel and crash ona my bed. I hook my phone up and see I still had one unread message.

Counting down the minutes until you're here. Stay safe and stay open minded. Much love ❤️