Nothing Runs Smoothly (Editing)

Chapter 10 - 'I can't stop thinking about you'

Carly's POV.

I had been in the biggest mood all day! We went to Dawns sisters house earlier, she is like an even crazier version of Dawn. She kinda cheered me up with her witty antics but only in the short-term. The rest of my day I spent wondering around aimlessly finding things to occupy my time. I didn't really feel like talking to anyone which caused me to hide away in my room cooped up watching movies all night.

I picked up my phone to check the time, it was quarter to three in the morning. Urgh, I really should have been going to bed by this point, but tiredness never seem to come to me. I decided to turn off my TV since She's the Man had been on repeat for the second time today. I was prepped for bed with my pyjamas on, but every time I try to fall asleep I never succeed. It was partly because I slept through till morning today, but most of all I couldn't stop thinking about Kris!

I really shouldn't have told him. It was so stupid! He is never going to want to speak to me again. He doesn't even date girls so why on earth would I tell him that I like him? What did I think would happen?...That he would say it back and everything would be happy days? That would never happen! I have embarrassed myself to the maximum. I don't want him to be awkward with me. I just want us to be normal, like we have been up until this point. He's now going to feel uncomfortable with me, and eventually we will drift apart and never talk. I wish I had a rewind button on my life. I would go back to that point and button my lips so I didn't ruin everything!

I will never ever be with Kris, he is way too good for me. I should have kept my feelings in and just enjoyed being his friend. I am already lucky that likes me enough to be his friend. Why on earth would he like me in the way I like him? I’m an average looking girl with no interesting traits to her personality, oh yeah...such a catch! To me, Kris has the full package – the looks, the charm, the humor and most of all the compassion for other people. Maybe not everyone will see it in him but that's all I see. I have had crushes on loads of guys throughout my teen years, but none of them come close to Kris. He is everything I love about a person. As cheesy as it sounds, he is sorta perfect for me. But I’m not perfect for him. He needs someone who is really confident and has an amazing sense of humor. Someone who makes him smile without any effort required. I will never tick the boxes he needs.

I need to stop thinking about him! I was over analysing it. I needed to do something to distract my thoughts. I picked up my laptop from under my bed and switched it on. I was just gonna check on skype for someone to talk to. I didn't expect there to be considering it was the early hours of the morning. I signed on and waited to see if any fellow insomniacs were on-line. I scrolled down my list of contacts with little optimism. The only one I could see online so far was a girl called Holly, who I rarely speak to. Just as I was away to click on her name I was receiving a Skype call.

'Kris Deeves is calling...'

I froze.

Fuck!

Should I answer? I thought biting my lip anxiously as my heart sped up. I did not want to speak to him. I was too embarrassed. But he had made the effort to speak to me...I guess I can't be rude and ignore him, that would only make things worse. I quickly smoothed down my hair and looked into my mirror. I had no make up on and I honestly looked attrocious, but he has seen me worse probably so I chose not  to care.

“Carly! You answered, thank god!” said Kris. I looked at the screen, Kris looked relieved. I also noticed that he was topless! Why would he even do that to me. I could only see his shoulders and face but I could tell there was a nice toned body down there somewhere.

“Hey Kris....Sorry for running off earlier,” I said softly whilst shyly tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.  Kris shook his head, “No, It was expected. Carly? I need to speak to you. Coming outside for a bit or do you want to come here? I just need to speak to you.” he said seriously as he shifted his postion on his bed.