Nothing Runs Smoothly (Editing)

Chapter 14 - 'If I was your man'

The anticipation of what Nathan has to say is growing at a fast rate. I have agreed to talk to him after school today about the 'important' thing he needs to tell me. I don't know for sure if he is going to spill his feelings for me, it might be something totally different. But I am going to prepare myself for it, will I tell him before hand that I know and am not interested? Or will I hear him out then break the news...Or will I pretend I had no idea. I really don't know!

I started picking off my pink nail polish as a nervous habit. I was waiting outside of the school for Nathan to appear from his last class. He was taking his sweet time! Or maybe it was just because I wanted to get this over and done with as soon as possible. Just as I raised my head I saw Nathan strolling through the doors, “Hey,” he said awkwardly. I gave a tiny forced smile,

“Hey,” I replied just as awkwardly. “So...? What do you need to tell me?” I asked quietly.

Nathan looked around at the other students, probably to check who's eavesdropping. He took hold of my arm and guided me towards an area which had nobody hanging around to hear, “It's just...” He looked more awkward than I thought he would! Should I save him the embarrassment? Something inside me was screaming 'No! Make him squirm!' For some reason I wanted to hear his ridiculous plead.

“I have wanted to tell you this for a long time, I mean a LONG time....”

“How long?” I asked out of interest. I am really curious as to how long he has felt like this. Nathan looked a bit confused by my question, then I remembered that he hasn't actually told me what it is yet! I laughed nervously,

“I don't know... about eleven months,” My eyes widened, ELEVEN MONTHS!

“Oh, so it can't be that important if you haven't told me before?” I asked naively.

“It is. I just haven't had the guts to tell you...” he said it so shyly, that I almost felt sorry for him!

“That's not like you, usually you are full of confidence!” I was trying to brush off my nerves with some light comedy but he didn't seem to find it funny.

“Yeah, well this is different....”

“How different?” I think Nathan knew I was trying to stall him by talking lots. He looked at me with worry, confusion and I think a little bit of frustration.

“Carly. Just let me get it out... Ever since we broke up I-”

“Ever since I dumped you,” I rudely corrected him. I don't know why I was getting annoyed, I guess it's because he knows fine I have a boyfriend but still thinks he can blurt something like this.

“Yah, well...Ever since you dumped me, I have never really got over you. After it happened I was shocked but just got on with my life...to be honest, I wasn't that phased. It wasn't until a few months later that I noticed how much I miss you. Carly...when we were in a relationship, I never knew I loved you, but now I do.” My face paled at the thought, Nathan loves me! He is a typical player boy, I doubt he knows what love is! I thought it was just a sort of crush...but love? He is insane. “And it took you going out with Kris for me to notice how stupid I have been to keep my feelings to myself.” By this point my face had a strong look of horror. I had to interrupt him,

“Whoah! Love? Do you even know the meaning of the word? I love pancakes but I’m not IN love with them!” I had to put a little sarcastic comment in there somewhere, “You can't be in love with me when I’m with someone else...” I said sternly. Nathan looked deeply hurt by my words,

“I do know the meaning of the word. I didn't until I found it in you! And I know you are with Kris...but do you really want to be with him?” He asked quietly. I was so angry by this point,