Nothing Runs Smoothly (Editing)

Chapter 27 - 'Stay sound,'

Carly's POV.

“I'm so sorry for your loss,” said the priest before walking off to talk to the rest of our family members. Today was mums funeral. I don't think I would have got through it if it wasn't for Jamie. It was really hard for me to say goodbye to her when that's the last thing I want to do. At least she is put to rest safely knowing that I love her.

My family wanted me to do a little reading at the ceremony, I thought about it...but I could hardly speak through the clog in my throat so there was no way I could talk about her in front of everyone. Instead Jamie said a small piece. It was beautiful, he always did have a way with words. He said the things that everyone was thinking. He misses her just as much as I do, but he has a good way of keeping it in.

In some ways I feel like he shouldn't be building a wall around his emotions and just let it out, but on the other hand....I want to ask him how he does it! I wish that I could hide it. I’ve been trying to hide it for so long now and failing miserably. But I looked at Jamie today trying to hold back those determined tears of his, and it hurt to see him do that. Now I understand how everyone around me feels when I act like nothings wrong. I've been hurting them. I thought it would hurt them to see me crying but maybe it hurts even more to see me bottle it up.

I was taken from my thoughts as auntie sue wrapped her arms around me, “Oh darling, you brave girl,” she whispered in my ear. She pulled away and wiped a salty tear from her cheek. I studied her features...she is very similar to mum, with the brown hair and chocolate eyes. They have a few differences though, mum had a distinctive heart-shaped freckle on her neck and Sue has a greyish rim around the iris of her eyes. Also sue has more fuller figure whereas mum was very tall and slim, like a model. She really was beautiful. Sue really reminds me of her, there is no denying that they were closely related.

“And Jamie...what you said was truly beautiful,” she said before giving him a hug also.

“Thanks Sue...”

“Are you guys coming to have something to eat with all of us?” she asked us. I looked at Jamie expecting him to decide for us. We should probably go...but I'm not exactly up for faking smiles and being polite to the family members that I haven't seen in years. Jamie looked back at me and nodded his head slightly, “I think we're gonna give it a miss, if that's okay. I think Carly's pretty worn out today...” he said tucking my hair behind my ear, I nodded in agreement. “....well both of us are,” he concluded.

“Oh that's fine, I can understand. Don't forget to keep in touch and you are always welcome round at my place! See you both soon hopefully, stay brave...” she took us into one last group hug and kissed our cheeks before saying our goodbyes.

I let out a sigh and made my way to the car. Just before I opened the door Jamie caught me by surprise and hugged me tight. I hugged him back the best I could, my black dress was a little restrictive. “You did so well today, I'm proud of you.”

“Awh Thanks Jamie, you too.” He smiled at me lightly and opened the car door for me. I slipped in the car followed by Jamie getting in the drivers seat. “It's all going to be okay you know. Even when I go back....you'll be fine, I know you will be,” he said softly. I looked at him intently,

“Jamie?....Do you have to go back?” I asked pleading him with my eyes. I like having him here, I miss him! He sighed at me and nodded his head.

“Of course I do! It's my job...I'm sorry Car but I have to,”

“But...please Jamie! You could just quit and get a job here!” I begged. My eyes were watering up again. Him leaving is just another heartbreak...and I really don't want another heartbreak.