Hate Filled Heart | Michael Kuza/ Chris Motionless-Chris Cerulli

There's More Black In My Heart Than The Ice In Your Lungs

"Can I sing to you tonight?" He asked against my hair.

I smiled, weakly. "Of course you can." I said, causing him to sigh.

"One of my songs or-" before he even finished his question, I answered it.

"Yes." He chuckled and pressed his lips to the back of my head.

"As you wish, my lady." He cleared his throat and began humming a soft, recognizable tune. It was soothing to the ears.

"The wall that I have built to keep you out is starting to rust because everything around me just reminds me of us. I am an addict for dramatics, black hair and pale skin..." This was when he caressed my hair and brushed his lips over my shoulder. "Yet I'm still collecting bones but that's why closets are for skeletons." Chris began moving me so I was on my back and he leaned over me, holding himself up by his arm. His hand smoothed its way over my torso and placed it on my breast. "Undress your body, hold it over my head. Because you know that if you knock then I will always let you in." He lightly kissed my neck and whispered the next few lines into it. "I've been numb for so long that I forgot how to feel, so I don't care if it will break my heart..." he stopped right there and gazed into my eyes.

The moonlight reflecting into the room through the window gave his hazel eyes a gray color. So beautiful.

"Just fuck me till we disappear." He breathed into my ear. I shuttered and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

I closed my eyes and continued to listen to his beautiful, soft, soothing vocals.

*****

The Next Morning

Once I awakened the next day, I didn't feel Chris beside me like I thought I would.

The bed was empty on his side and I worried when I didn't see the light on in the restroom. That meant no one was in there.

Where was he???

I get up, put on some random clothes and slowly walk downstairs. For some reason, I hear a voice. Chris. Who's he talking to? And why is he whispering?

I quietly sneak into the living room where he is and listen to his conversation on the phone. As I hid behind a wall, I peek around and see him sitting on the couch.

"Do you really?" He asked. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." He sighed, passing a hand over his makeup-less face. "Fine, we'll meet. But where?" Who is he talking to and who's he gonna meet?

I pushed my thought aside for a sec and continued to listen.

"Alright, just let me tell my friend I gotta go somewhere with Rick but I'll come meet you instead." He paused. "Sure thing...bye." Chris hung up his phone and stood up.

I quickly tried to hide my anger and pure fury towards him. I made my way to the stairs as if I had just walked down them.

Chris was coming back and we met at the foot of the staircase. He smiles and pulls me to his bare chest.

"Good morning, baby. Sleep well?" I nod and pretend to be okay. He eyes me and kisses my lips so softly.

"What were you doing down here, babe?" I asked, acting clueless. His eyes went a bit wide then he composed his features.

"Oh, yeah, I was on the phone with Rick." What a fucking liar!!!

"Rick, eh?" I furrowed my eyebrows and sigh.

"Uh, yeah, He wants me to, uh, go to his house to show me...a new track he made. Its supposed to be-" I cut him off.

"Go." I said, bluntly.

His eyes narrowed. "Go? Where?" I sighed.

"You wanna go see Ricky? Go. I'll go out with some friends while you meet with 'Ricky'." I smiled a fake one, hiding the curiosity and jealousy I felt. For some reason, I felt heart broken he'd lied to me about meeting with Rick.

Who was he really meeting and what was he up to that he'd have to hide it from me???

Chris kissed me then brushed past me to go to my room. I followed him in and watched him quickly get dressed.

I lean against the door frame and check him out as he slips on his pants.

"Youre not showering?" I question because he hadn't since yesterday morning.

He took at look at himself then shrugged, carelessly.

"Nah. It's Rick, for all I know, he hasn't showered either." I nod and walk further into the room and sit on the edge of my bed. "Mind if I at least use my bro's body spray?" He asked, picking up a body spray that belonged to my boyfriend.

I shrug and look away to the floor. Chris made his way to me and crouched to my level.

"Mind if I use you makeup?" He asked, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I motion him to my makeup bag.

"Go right ahead, dear." I muttered.

He kissed me, and with a wink, he made his way to the mirror.

After putting up all my makeup tools, he puts it in its place and grabs his shoes.

"Well, I'm off." He kisses my lips, gently. "See you tonight?" He asks, smirking.

I back away and smile, weakly.

"I don't know...I'll let you know later." He furrows his freshly drawn eyebrows and nods, slightly.

"O-Okay then. Bye." He says and walks out.

I start getting ready for my day.

******

I made plans to have a not so secret rendezvous with Ricky at the nearest Starbucks.

He came to pick me up and he drove us there. Parking, turning off the car and getting out of it, I was wondering how should I ask Rick about Chris without making it so obvious that we're seeing each other.

"You go find a seat. I'll order for us." He smiled and I made my way to the back where the booths were. As I turned a somewhat corner, I saw a familiar figure kissing a girl.

"C-Chris?"

Well shit...