Hate Filled Heart | Michael Kuza/ Chris Motionless-Chris Cerulli

We Can't Control Who We Hurt

*Dahlia*

It's been about two months since Chris left, almost two months since my attempt. Do I regret it? No. Had I wished to be saved? Fuck no. Otherwise I wouldn't have done it. Chris promised he'd never leave me, Mike promised he'd do whatever he could to break Chris and I up...They both kept their promises.

I haven't spoken to or seen Mike since I was released from the hospital. Matt is currently checking up on me, as well as Eri. They never bring him up because they're still pretty upset with him. It's weird because we've all been so close for years.

"Here, take your medication before you go to work." Matt hands me my little pill bottle and a small glass of water before going back to pet Ange.

Ricky drove down here from Scranton and brought him back.

He's confused as to why Chris left me because nobody really knows the story but...I'll just leave it at that.

I take my medication and get up. "Thanks...Will You be here when I get back?" I ask.

"Uh, not sure. But I'll remember to text you." I nod and head out.

I've recently started working at a local tattoo shop. Its next to my new favorite club!! It just opened this month, given its October. The name of it is Bats: Club 10/31.

It's a club where all the freaks come out to play. Me, Matt, Luke, Eri, Svetlana, and Kyle all came out the first night it opened. Its good when we meet others like us. People go in costumes, others don't. It's also a bar and its styled like a cave. I love it. We plan on going back the 31st.

Anyways, I walk into the shop and get to work. My job as an apprentice, I do piercings. I have a few appointments today and I'm glad I'll get my mind off of other shit.

At 9:00, when I'm off, I head on home to a car waiting for me in my driveway.

That's Rick's car. I get out and walk over as Ricky gets out to greet me.

"Rick? Um, what's up?" I ask, leading us inside my home. Matt texted saying he left a few hours ago.

He took a seat and Ange crawled to him. I took a seat besides Ricky and let him speak.

"Uh, as you know...it's October, right?" I nod and he continues. "Well, in a few days...Chris turns 28." I completely forgot Chris's birthday was the 17th. But he left me, he wants nothing to do with me. Why is Rick bringing it up?

"There's really nothing I can do for him anymore...he hates me." I whispered, shakily.

Rickys beautiful orbs began to glisten. "Don't say that. I saw the way you guys looked at each other and I knew that was true love. As stupid and cliche as it sounds, you guys were meant for one another." I felt a tear, slowly fall from my eyes before Ricky wiped it and hugged me in his tight embrace.

"Do you know w-why Chris left me?" I asked, quietly. Ricky pulled away and shook his head.

"He always gets mad at me when I ask...I don't like when he's mad, so I just drop it. But tell me, why?" He says, seemingly concerned.

I told him everything that happened since the morning of the day it all happened. He didn't react well. He wants to hurt Mike and Franccesca because of what they did. Though I'm still not sure she had something to do, I've tried investigating but...

"Well, have you seen Chris since then?" I shake my head. "Has Franccesca at least tried to communicate with you?" Once again, I answered with a head motion.

"I haven't seen or heard about her since...Maybe she's back to fucking Mike, I don't know..." I sniffle, wiping my eyes.

Ricky sighs and wraps his arms around my waist, scooting closer to me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Dahlia." He whispers, softly. "I wish things would be back to normal for us all." I nodded, relaxing into our hug.

"I miss him, Rick. I miss having wake up to the most handsome guy on the face of the earth." I cry, quietly. He strokes my hair and tightens his arms.

"I'm sure he misses you too." That's actually hard to believe. "But, Dahlia?" He pulls away again and looks at my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Be my date for Chris's birthday party." My eyes widened. "Maybe we can come up with an idea to attract him to you again. He wouldn't dare kick you out, that'll cause a scene and Chris hates making drama like that." I became really nervous at his offer.

I couldn't face Chris after this time, I'm scared he'll yell and kick me out.

"No, no absolutely not. If I'm near him at all, I'll lose it. I'll run up and hug him, never letting go." I felt like hyperventilating.

"Calm down, look, we'll talk about this tomorrow and make a decision but right now, let's get you some food then off to bed, okay?" I nod and walk to the kitchen with him.

I sit up top of the counter and watch him make me a pizza. Its homemade, so, it's better than any ordered pizza.

We eat at the dinner table, finish, then go upstairs.

"Stay over so you won't drive back to Scranton this late." I say, pulling him down on the bed.

He nods and lays beside me, ankles crossed, arms folded behind his head, His eyes staring at the lavender tinted ceiling.

I go to put on something for bed, remove my makeup, wash my face and brush my teeth.

I walk back to the bed and cuddle under Ricky's arm. He turns on his side and wraps both arms around me, cuddling me into his chest.

Ricky softly began to sing Wings Of A Butterfly by HIM.

I closed my eyes and hugged my body tighter to his. As I listened to his beautiful soothing voice, my eyes felt heavy.

"Heaven ablaze in our eyes We're standing still in time..."

He sings, quietly, rubbing small circles on my back.

Ricky is so kind that lately, I realized I trust him with my life so, there's something I should tell him...

"Rick?" I interrupt his beautiful song. He stops and looks down at me. I look up and sigh.

His eyes show worry now. "Ricky, there's a part about that day Chris left me that I purposely left out." His eyebrows furrow.

"What?"

"I almost killed myself in front of Mike." His eyes widened, and his body jolted straight up.

"WHAT?! YOU WHAT?! WHY?!" He exclaimed, angrily.

"Don't get mad at me...I lost Chris forever. Do you know what a bullet that was for me? The man I Iove broke up with me because the man I once thought I loved kept that damn promise he made me. He accomplished breaking us up! He swore he'd do it..." I cried, softly, pulling him back into my arms.

He held me and kissed my head. "Never kill yourself for anyone, understand? That's a horrible choice that doesn't solve shit, just makes it worse." he sighed, tightening our hug.

"I understand..." I whispered. "You're the only one who knows besides, Eri, Kyle, Luke, Matt and Michael..." His eyes turn sweet as he pulls away and looks at me.

"Thank you for trusting me, Lia. I love you." He smiled and kissed my head again.

"I love you too, Ricky." I smiled, laying back down. He follows and cuddles me to him again.

He turns off the light then relaxes his body. Our eyes close, our arms hold one another and our minds begin to drift into what I like to call sleeeep.

My boyfriend and I are kind of at it, and I'm pretty upset. Sorry if my story turns to complete shit because of it...I apologize.

And a note to those sweethearts that have been helping me get ideas, my message board is complete shit and is failing constantly. Again, my apologies. If I don't reply it's because I can't see your message, It won't let me reply back, or it just won't let me go to it at all...Sorry.

Hopefully if I save two paychecks, I'll buy another phone because it's not just Wattpad fucking up. So is IG, FB, Twitter and Tumblr.

~Dahlia Slaughter