➢ marvel imagines

➣ logan howlett

you getting hurt on a mission and logan blames himself

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Logan had totally been acting funny lately. He'd been more distant, not being as physically affectionate as he once was - behind closed doors of course - and he just seemed like he was... angry. He was normally angry, but this was different. Rather than having his walls built up he just seemed, upset - at everything, mind you. You decided to talk to him, though confrontation wasn't your think you were determined to get it out of him, whether he liked it or not.

"Logan?" You asked once all of the peers had left the training room. Due to your serious tone, Ororo took it as a message to leave the room, so she walked out, closing the door behind you. This left you and Logan alone, the silence deafening. "Logan, could you at least look at me?" Resentfully, he turned his gaze up towards you, the crease in his brow showing the walls building higher and higher each second. "Logan, what's wrong? You've been so distant lately, and I miss you. Honestly, I do. Ever since that mission you've been treating me like I'm a disease, you never hold me or get close to me anymore." You took a step towards him, causing him to draw back at the same distance you stepped forwards. "See? Please, babe you can talk to me about anything."

"I know I can." He finally spoke, the first time you'd heard him speak in a long time. "I know, I just... I don't trust myself anymore."

"What do you mean?" You were cautious in your small steps towards him.

"On that mission... it was my job to look after you. I've made it my job to look after you, but when I was too absorbed in proving myself right you were the one who payed the consequences. You got hurt, you were in the hospital for two days. All for what? So I could prove that I'm macho? So I could prove that the kids aren't ready for something as extreme as a mission? I blame myself for what happened and I don't want it to happen again. I don't trust myself around you... and I think it'd be best if I just kept my distance." Tears began to well up in your eyes as he began to walk away; quickly, you turned around and grabbed his arm, causing him to flinch at the contact.

"You're not going anywhere. Nobody is keeping distance. Nobody is getting hurt." You said, keeping a firm grip on his arm and pulling yourself closer to him. His breath hitched in his throat and he couldn't find the strength within himself to look at you. "Is that what all of this is about? Because I got scratched up? We all do, Logan. It's a part of being an X-Men. That's life. You fall down, you get hurt, you pick yourself back up and get back in the race. You - of all people - know that the most out of anyone here." You brought your hands under his chin, turning his gaze towards you. He had tears welling up in his eyes as well, taking you by surprise. You'd never known Logan to be the sensitive type, granted he wouldn't be caught dead crying in front of anyone else. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm fine. I'm okay, look at me I'm perfectly okay." You smiled, cupping his face and looking sweetly into his eyes. "Turning yourself away from me will only hurt me more. Because I love you, Logan. I don't know what I would do without you and I don't plan on having a life where you are not the star of the show." He chuckled gently, bringing his hand up to yours and caressing it softly. "Stay with me..."

He paused, his hands moving downwards to your lower back. Biting his lip gently, he pulled you in for a bone-crushing hug, pulling you flush against him and squeezing you tightly. "I love you too." He said, his voice wavering but you decided not to pay any attention to it. You ran your fingers through his hair, something you'd missed dearly and promised you'd never take for granted again. "I'm sorry-"

"Shhhh..." You pulled away, "I don't want you to blame yourself, please don't blame yourself." He nodded and placed his calloused hands on your cheeks, you felt like a porcelain doll against his touch, taking you by surprise as Logan wasn't the generally the most gentle person in the world. He leaned down to kiss you, just brushing your lips against his, as if he was scared he could break you with one wrong movement. You brought your fingers to his hair and just pushed him down, causing a full kiss to be pressed against your lips. You felt a small smile tugging against his lips as the kiss became more heated; you could tell he was craving your touch just as much as you were. With a small smirk, you leaned into his ear and whispered: "Take me, Logan." 

He panted against you, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing, as if trying to resist the power you had over him. "What if I hurt you?" He half-heartedly objected, kissing your neck in small bites, making you giggle softly.

"Maybe that isn't such a bad thing."

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idk man everything has got me in my logan feels lately i literally cannot stop watching xmen