➣ tony stark

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making you cry

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He'd made you cry. He'd actually made you cry, right in front of him. The one thing he promised himself he'd never do. And now you were upstairs, barely making it up the steps as you leaned against the nearest wall, knees tucked to your chest and crying. He'd yelled. Loud. You said you'd understood his pain, which was strike number one, two and three all together. 

After Thanos, he'd returned home to find you alive and well. He hugged you for what felt like hours and he hadn't let go since. It'd been 9 months since the event on Titan. But something had been off with him the last couple of days, he'd been distant and basically locking himself in his basement. You knew to leave him be when he was in the basement, but this time you couldn't take it anymore.

He'd spent the days down there trying to figure out how to get Peter back. Peter was like a son to the both of you, and when you heard about his death it was too much to handle; of course, you stayed by Tony's side and tried to hide all of your grief inside. Tony's mind was racing, idea after idea after idea popping in his head, each one impossible, but he couldn't give up hope. Somewhere in the back of his mind there was a voice scratching at him, and he knew he probably would never get to see the kid again. Never get to hear new messages he'd left for Happy, never get to hear that sweet voice say "Mr. Stark" over and over again, never get to see his stupid face again.

So you came down and confronted him. And he'd scared you. You'd never seen him like this before, throwing around equipment while he screamed at you. And he didn't come running up the stairs to get you back or to apologize. He just sat on his chair, hands caught in his overgrown hair and tugging at the strands, cursing himself over and over again. He wasn't sure what to do, the things he'd said were... awful and he didn't mean any of them. You knew he didn't, but your mind let the words sink in and each one hitting your already damaged heart like a wrecking ball. Now, he was the one crying.

So you did something about it. You picked yourself up the ground, not even bothering to wipe your tears as you came sprinting down the stairs. As soon as he heard your steps he shot out of his chair, his hair wildly messed up but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

So you came bounding down the steps with your hair messy and your mascara sticking to your cheeks, tears still forming in your eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but you held up a finger as soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs. He took a step towards you, but you backed away from him, his breath hitching in his throat as he realized you'd felt fear around him. "Look, Stark." You hissed, more venom in your words than you intended. "We both know we said some things we regret. I'm sorry I said what I said, but don't think that you're the only one feeling pain right now, alright? I lost Peter too. The world lost Spider-Man and though they may not know it they've lost a valuable member of society." You took a shuddering breath before continuing your speech.

"Fuck you, Tony Stark. Fuck you. I know it's a hard time for you, alright? I'm here to support you and if you're just going to keep pushing me away than I feel as if I serve no purpose in your life. It's hard. But it's been a long time since what happened and I'm sorry to say this, but we have to move on. We all have to move on eventually because this is what happened. And yeah, it's shitty. It's so... fucking... shitty." With your words, you began to take a step towards him. "Moving on is the hardest part of a tragic event, especially in this case. But Tony... they're gone. I'm so so sorry, but they're gone. I know it's hard to accept, but they're gone. And I'm not saying you have to move on now, or in 5 years but I'm saying you have to do something besides this." You gestured to everything around him, the theories and the crumpled pieces of paper.

"So please. Tell me this. What do you want? I'm trying to help you Stark, but if you won't let me... if you won't let me talk to you... I don't know." You ran a hand through your hair, wiping at your cheeks and the corners of your eyes. "So..."

He didn't say anything. He just stared at you with wide eyes, tears falling down his cheeks. He knew you were right, he knew he had to get over this. He knew he had to be himself and power through this like he did with everything else. But he didn't say anything.

You blew out a shuddering breath, turning around and walking towards the glass doors, beginning to walk up the stairs. When you felt a small amount of pressure on your forearm, you stopped in your tracks, hesitating before you came face-to-face with a teary-eyed Tony Stark. "I- I..." You were already up a few stairs, so you had a height advantage on him. "I..." He couldn't get the words out, but seeing him in his helpless state made you melt immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close.

He exhaled heavily, burying his head into your chest and sobbing. Actually sobbing, shaking and taking fistfuls of your shirt in his closed fists. You stroked his hair, finding yourself crying as he shook hard against you; you'd never seem him this distraught and it honestly scared you like all hell. "I can't... I can't do it... I can't do it, (Y/n)..." He said in between sobs, causing you to pull him closer, sitting on the stairs and pulling him down with you, stroking him at a better angle. Tony could feel your chest against him almost stop moving at his words, you were paralyzed with fear. Tony was never like this.

"H-help... I need help... I need... your help."

"Tony, I know, I know..." You kissed the top of his head over and over again, rubbing his back while your other hand ran itself through his hair.

Once the storm had passed, you continued to stroke Tony's hair as he'd stopped crying, his forehead still leaning against your warm chest. When he finally looked up at you, you felt your heart sink and a pain erupted in your chest. 

"Tony, I'm so sorry

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"Tony, I'm so sorry. I'm right here, okay? I'll always be here for you, I promise." He nodded his head, one of his hands going to interlace it with his, bringing it to his lips and kissing each of your knuckles. His eyes were totally bloodshot and his face was completely flushed, his breathing still irregular but your forehead and temple kisses seemed to help with that.

"I'm sorry (Y/n)... you're the most important thing in my life right now. I can't lose you too, I lost... everything else. You're all I want. You're all I have."

"You'll never lose me, Tony. I'm always going to be right here. No matter what." He gave you the tiniest smile and kissed your cheek, nuzzling his nose against it and closing his eyes. "What do you say we get to bed, huh? It's getting to be 3AM now..."

He sighed, nodding his eyes and standing up, keeping his hand locked with yours as you walked up the stairs together.

And Tony actually slept. He slept for what felt like the first time in years. However, you didn't. You watched, stroking his hair and making sure he didn't have any nightmares in the climax of the night. You knew you'd be able to get through this as long as you did it together.

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idk


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