Corrupting the Good girl

Chapter 41

Nothing could be heard throughout the room expect for the sounds of our ragged panting.Ethan rolled off me to  the side and landed with a thud next to me on the bed. I laid there on my back staring up at the ceiling, the dull ache between my legs slowly beginning to spread to my lower abdomen. 

I felt Ethan’s hand wiggle against my side so I arched my back and his arm snaked underneath me; with a firm grip on me he gently rolled my tired body over so that I was now laid against his torso with my head on his chest. His skin was hot and damp causing my cheek to stick to him; I could hear a loud pounding in my ear which was resting over his heart. My body shifted as Ethan’s chest rose and fell.

I snuggled up to Ethan’s side and hissed in pain as this put pressure on my swollen abdomen.

“Are you OK?” He asked worriedly and he gently ran his fingers up and down my arm, drawing soft circles on my heated skin.

“Just a bit sore.” I murmured quietly. 

"I'm not surprised to be honest, we were at it pretty hard." Ethan chuckled.

I cringed at his words. "So what are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, ignoring his previous comment.

"I've got a date." Ethan answered nonchalantly.

"A date?" I repeated thinking I had heard him wrong.

"Yeah her name's Hailey and she's got a fantastic arse." He replied coolly. "She tall, thin, blonde and beautiful."

"But what about us?" I asked sitting up.

"What about us? Fran come 'on you're a nice girl and the sex just then was OK but you didn't seriously think that I actually wanted to be with you?"

"B-but I did." I said shyly as I dropped my head feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

"Oh shit... wow that's... um this is a little bit awkward now so maybe I should go." Ethan muttered as he stood up and began to look for his clothes.

I woke with a start and sat up in my bed. The covers were tangled amongst my legs and I was panting loudly. I brought my legs up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees; I sat like this for a few minutes as I steadied my breathing.

It was a dream. It was just a dream. Things hadn't actually happened that way but it felt so real.

Once I had calmed down a bit I swung my legs of the edge of the bed and stood up unsteadily, I grasped onto the edge of the headboard for balance and slowly I shuffled over to the door and opened it. It was pitch black in the hallway and I slowly tiptoed across to the bathroom. The floorboard before the bathroom door was loose and I cringed when it let out an almighty creak as I stepped on it; nobody seemed to wake at the noise and so I continued into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

I groped around for the light and instinctively shut my eyes as light flooded into the room, the redish tinge the clouded my eyes lids, as I stood in the light with my eyes closed, slowly began to ebb away and so I tentatively opened my eyes. As soon as my vision returned to normal I walked over to the sink and splashed some water over my heated face that was red and sticky with sweat; I shivered as the cool water came in contact with my skin and I clumsily reached out to the side to grasp for a towel. After drying off my face I stood before the mirror and examined myself.

Bags under my eyes. Spots peppering my sickly pale skin. Fat, round cheeks. Dull brown eyes. Limp dark hair. When I looked in the mirror I saw nothing that I liked about myself and I felt disgusted at the sight of me. I stumbled backwards and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet seat.

I dropped my head into my hands and fought back the tears that began to sting my eyes.

Fat.

Ugly.

Boring.

Pathetic.

Nothing.

Worthless.

Maybe this is why he did that to me. Maybe this is why Ethan hurt me like he did. Maybe I deserved it.

Salty, warm tears began to flow down my cheeks and I lazily brushed them away with the backs of my hands.

I'm not surprised that Ethan was only with my for a bet... To be honest I should have seen it sooner... Why else would he want to be with me? Why would anybody want me? There are so many other beautiful girls out there who are thinner than me, prettied than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, more interesting than me... There are so many other girls out that who are everything that I'm not, why would Ethan want to be with me when he could have been with any of them? 

I dragged my feet along the carpet as I walked back to my room. I climbed into bed and glanced at the clock as I settled beneath the covers: 5:10 pm. Too late to go back to sleep, too early to get up. So I just laid there, drowning in thoughts about how I was never good enough for Ethan and about how I will never be good enough for anyone.

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OK so this was actually a really difficult chapter for me to write because in some ways this was based off of personal experience and really I just wanted you to know that if you ever feel like Fran does here it gets better, I promise, and if you ever want to talk or rant or just vent about anything just come and talk to me :)