Corrupting the Good girl

Chapter 54

I came home from school that day and threw myself head first into revision for my up and coming exams; the exams weren't for a few more weeks but I figured it wouldn't hurt to start revising now. That was a lie. The truth was I didn't in fact need to be revising yet. The truth was in fact that I was just in need of a distraction from Ethan: I had been thinking about him all day and for once it was all positive things. I had reminisced about our time as a couple and I remembered how much fun we had together, Ethan really did mean a great deal to me and I wanted nothing more than to forget about what had happened and move on, I know what he did was terrible but I was tired of clinging onto Ethan's mistakes.

I know I miss Ethan. I know I still love him. I think he still loves me. But do I want to be with him?

My mind was swimming with images of Ethan and I together and as a result of that I was now feeling rather deflated as I knew it was highly unlikely that we would ever get back together.

I decided on making a cup of tea to take my mind off of things so I got up from my bed and strolled across my room to the upstairs landing, I ambled down the stairs and as I descended the last few steps raised voices and loud noises erupted from the living room; I figured immediately that Dan must have his friends over so as I walked past I popped my head around the door to say hello.

"Hey."

"Hi Fran." I was greeted happily by Dan and Darren as they yelled over the noise of the game they were playing on the Xbox; I decided not to disturb them any further so I quietly slunk away and headed towards the kitchen.

I walked in to the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks as I noticed that I wasn't alone; Ethan turned around from the fridge as he noticed me at the door way. Neither of us a said anything but, as predicted, Ethan scanned his eyes over me, he smirked, again as predicted, and looked back up to me. I blushed and averted my eyes, I guess some things will never change. We stood in silence for a few moments just savouring each other's company.

"God you look so beautiful." Ethan murmured softly and by the look of surprise on his face I'm guessing he didn't mean to say that out loud I blushed and stepped past him and towards to kettle; I filled it up with water and set it on to boil, the whole time I felt Ethan's eyes glued to me.

I turned around to face Ethan and flashed him my best smile causing him bite his lip as he gazed at me.

"You're so incredibly beautiful when you smile... God you're just perfect, I still can't believe what I did to you. I fucked up so bad and I really don't blame you for hating me." He murmured ashamedly as he averted his gaze away with a sad look on his face.

My face crumpled as he brought up the subject I had desperately been trying to avoid and my stomach ached to see him look so sad.

"Ethan... I just want you to know that I don't hate you... I could never hate you." I said softly. There was truth in what I said to him: yes I had been angry at him, yes I had hated what he did but I don't think I ever actually hated Ethan.... my feelings for him were too strong for that.

"You know I never deserved you then and I don't deserve your forgiveness now." Ethan sighed remorsefully.

"I - uh - never actually said that I forgive you." I murmured in embarrassment.

"Oh... right." Ethan breathed out and he dropped his head a little.

"But I do... forgive you." I said kindly.

"Wow Fran you have no idea how great it is to hear you say that." Ethan chuckled in relief and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"You know I think that's gotta be one of the first times I've seen you smile, not smirk." I observed cockily.

"Well I guess you just have that effect on me." Ethan replied as he took several steps closer to me so that he was now almost pressed against me. We gazed into each other's eyes and Ethan began to lean in, I watched his face intently as I waited for his lips to finally press against mine.

His warm, sweet breath fanned over my face and I found myself leaning in, eager to feel the touch of him once again.

Bing.

The kettle let out a quiet bing, signifying that it had boiled, and the interruption seemed to snap the both of us back to reality; Ethan pulled away from me and murmured a quiet 'see you later' before going back to Dan and Darren in the living room.

The atmosphere in the room was intense.

Ethan and I had been inches from kissing and I was now left feeling disappointed. Wow, now I definitely know I miss Ethan. I'm definitely still in love him. I know he still loves me. And  I without doubt do want to be with him.