Injuries (A/N)

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So I'm not sure if I told you guys before, but the kneecap on my left knee doesn't stay in place. So I've been living the past three years of my life in a knee brace and constantly on pain medicine. Yes, this dose need surgery, but since I'm only in high school no one will do the surgery until I'm 26 when my bones stop growing. Recently my right knee has been giving me some problems so I had to good to the joint specialist again. Before I did my mom scared me with the talk of wheelchairs, services dogs, or getting my surgery early. Because I was freaking out about this it was hard to get chapters done and on top of that I was working a musical. There were even days when my knees hurt so bad I would start crying, I have a very high pain tolerance when it comes to my bones. There was a time I ran laps at school the day I broke my arm and didn't cry once. The nurse yelled at me saying I was fine then the next day when I came back with a cast she apologized to my parents. But anyway! I went to the doctor and he was busy so they sent in his assent (I think I'm not sure.) She said that I had the same thing in my right as I did in my left and she took a guess saying I also had irritated tendons. She said we were going to try therapy for the next six weeks and if that didn't work I was going to go to a sports doctor. A sports doctor is someone who helps you adapt to pain, this really made me angry and I started crying on the way home. I did therapy for my left leg and it was doing great until some girl kicked it and it never got better. What I mean by that is the pain never got better. I even tried to do my therapy again, but it was so painful that I couldn't. So I really don't think therapy is going to work. Now my friends and family don't understand why I am so upset about this so I'm going to try to explain. For 1,095 days people have told me that my knee would get better and it wouldn't hold me back, that's three years. And now that I can barely stand on my own they can't say that anymore. So for 1,095 days I've believed that I would be able to live my life with only small limitations and if worse came to worse I could just lean on my other leg. Now that both my legs are busted if I get kicked or fall I'm gonna be in a wheelchair for a few weeks! And now that I know this therapy is literally the last thing I can do before they send me someplace where I'm gonna have to learn how to live with my knees just being in pain is really hard to except. It's basically saying that I'm never gonna be able to run, ride a bike, play any sports, or even be on my feet for long periods of time for the next six years on my lifetime. That's the rest of my teen years, and even six years into my adulthood. Now try to imagine yourself in this situation, your last chance in living a normal life relies on a few exercises. Yeah you would be scared too. I know that they are doing everything they can to help, I'm not blaming my doctors. And for some reason people want me to except this as my life like it's no big deal! It is to me! Even now when I'm trying to talk to you guys I'm crying because I don't want this to be my life anymore. So I maybe a little late with updates, or they may be short or sad. You know why now. And if anyone out there has any advice on how to deal with this better please leave a comment. And you understand what I'm trying to say or if you think I'm crazy let me know in the comments. I love you all, and thank you for reading.

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