Creepypasta boyfriend scenarios

Creepypasta: Cell Block Tango

Me:My little gift to you all!

Me: and now, the six merry murderesses of the CreepyPasta Mansion in their rendition of the cell block tango.

Hoodie!Pop.

Offender:six

Jeff: Squish

KageKao: Uh-Uh!

Liu: Cicero

Helen(Bloody Painter): Angels

Hoodie: Pop.

LJ:six

Jeff: Squish

KageKao: Uh-Uh!

Liu: Cicero

Helen: Angels

Hoodie: Pop.

LJ:six

Jeff: Squish

KageKao: Uh-Uh!

Liu: Cicero

Helen: Angels

All: He had it coming, he had it coming

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Hoodie: Pop.

LJ:six

Jeff: Squish

KageKao: Uh-Uh!

Liu: Cicero

Helen: Angels

Hoodie: you know how some people have these little habits the get you down? Like... Tim! Tim liked to chew gum— no, not chew. Pop! So, I come home this one day and I'm really irritated and looking for a little sympathy, and there's Tim. Lyin' on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing — no, not chewing, POPPING! So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time ..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots...

Into his HEAD!

All: He had it coming, he had it coming

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

LJ: I met Isaac Grossman a couple of years ago and he told me he was single. We hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner
Then I found out, "single," he told me. Single, my ass! Not only was he married, oh no. He had SIX wives; one of those Mormons, you know?
So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual...
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!

All: He had it coming, he had it coming
He took a flower in its prime!
And then he used it; and he abused it
It was a murder, but not a crime!

Jeff: Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Jane in a jealous rage
"You been screwing the milkman!" he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing the milkman!"
Then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife TEN TIMES.

Jeff:If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

KageKao: Watashi wa koko de nani o shite iru nda? Karera wa, watashi ga kare no atama o mukidashi ni shite iru ma, okami ga watashi no otto o osaetsuketa to itta. Shikashi,-sōde wa arimasen. Watashi wa mujitsudesu. Rippō ga watashi ga sōshita to itte iru riyū wa wakarimasen. Watashi wa keisatsu ni setsumeishiyō to shimashitaga, karera wa rikai shimasendeshita!

Jeff: But did you do it?

KageKao: Uh-uh! Not guilty!

Liu: My brother, Jeffery and I had this double act. And my husband, West, traveled around with us. With the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row--one two three four five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other! Well, this one night before the show we were down at the hotel in Cicero, the three of us, boozing and having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I went out to get some
I come back, open the door...
There's Jeffery and West doing number seventeen... the spread eagle!
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!

West: he's not actually gonna kill me right?

Me: oh of course not. This is just my funny little gift to the readers.

Liu: They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it, but if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

All: They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it, but if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Helen: I loved Judge Angels more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to "find himself". He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way, he found...Zalgo, Red, Sledner and Nina.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive
And I saw him dead!

All:

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along!
'Cause if they used us, and they abused us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same--

all (Spoken lines all overlapping):
You pop that gum one more time--
Single my ass--
Ten times--
Rippō ga watashi !
Number seventeen, the spread eagle!
Artistic differences—

All: I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!