My eyes widen when I see Finn. Hes gotten even taller somehow, and now towers over me even more than before. His face has changed, he looks older, more mature. His hair is curlier than I remember it being, and he has even more freckles on his face.
He drops the popsicles hes holding in his hands when he sees me, his eyes just as wide as mine. "Kelsie" he breaths, still staring at me.
"Finn" i breathe back, still taking in how different he looks. Hes more toned now, with muscles bulging out on his arms and shoulders, looking very different than the skinny boy I remember.
"Kelsie" he says again, a small smile creeping on his face, and spreading on to mine. Looking in his eyes, all our memories come back to me. Everything. The first day i ever met him, everything we said and did, all the nights we spent talking until the sun came up. Everything.
"Finn" i wrap my arms around his torso. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. I lay my head on his chest, not even being tall enough to reach his collarbone. Theres nothing i want more than to stay in his arms for the rest of my life, but i pull away before it gets awkward.
"Wow you look...different. Not like bad different though, good different- I mean not that you didnt look good before, you just look a different kind of good now" he says, causing me to laugh.
"Finn, its okay. You look different too" i say, punching his arm to relieve the awkwardness. He just stares at me for a few more minutes then says "so how have you been?"
"Good" i lie "how about you?"
"Good. Ive been really busy, with filming and everything" he says, reaching down and picking up the popsicles he dropped. "Oh yeah, hows that been?" "It was fun, but im happy were done. It was kind of exhausting" he says, handing everyone a popsicle.
"Um Kelsie? Who are these people?" I hear behind me, and turn around to see Cole with a jealous look on his face. I roll my eyes mentally, he has no right to be jealous. "Cole this is Jaeden, Jack, Sophia, and Finn" I introduce him to everyone and they all wave. "Im Cole. Im Kelsies boyfriend" cole says, making me choke on the air i was breathing. Everyone snaps their heads toward me, and im too embarrassed to make eye contact with finn.
"Oh shut the fuck up Cole" ella snaps, saving me "youre not, nor will you ever be, kelsies boyfriend. Youre not even a thing. if you hadnt noticed kelsies not even the least bit into you, so fuck off" i stare at ella in awe and mouth thank you. She just nods her head and glares at Cole, who turns and walks away. We all stand in awkward silence for a few moments. "Sorry about that. Just had to put him in his place" ella says awkwardly, and its quiet for a few more moments. Then everyone bursts into laughter.
"You shoulda seen the look on his face!" Jaeden laughs. "He looked like he was about to cry!" Jack adds, slapping his knee. We all calm down and Sophia asks "what are you doing tonight? Do you guys have plans?" Before i can say anything ella says "nope! Were completely free!" Sometimes i want to strangle that girl. "Well were going to this thing on the beach, theyll have food and theres gonna be a firework show. You guys should come!" "Sounds fun! Well be there!"
We hung out with them for the rest of the day, Millie and Sadie came over a little while later. Every once in a while, fans would come up and ask for autographs, mainly from Finn, but I pretended it didnt bother me. I tried to keep my distance from Finn to avoid awkwardness. We all hung out, just like old days. We played games and joked around like we used to. I tried not to think about how things used to be, but i couldnt. All i wanted was for things to go back to normal, for Finn to be mine again. I knew it was gonna take some time, but i was determined to get him back.
A few hours later, Ella, Sadie, Millie, and I were all standing in front of the mirror getting ready. I curled my hair in beach waves and applied a little makeup, trying to look cute but not over do it. We were planning to meet them there, and i was beyond nervous. I decided to wear a cute black cropped tank top and high waist jean shorts. Millie walks in my room and plops down on my bed.
"Theres this cool thing called knocking, you should try it sometime!" I say with fake enthusiasm. "Never heard of it, ill give it a try!" She replies, with even more enthusiasm than me, and i laugh.
"So" she says, sitting up "are you nervous for tonight?" "Pssh. Nervous? Why would I be?"
"Oh my GOD kelsie you are the worst liar in the history of lying" millie laughs, and i roll my eyes. "Okay yes. Of course im nervous! He's probably completely moved on and forgot about me, but every time i look at him I remember every single little thing that he said and everything we did and it kills me millie. It kills me. And ive been so fucking sad lately, ive felt so empty. And the second i looked at him it all went away. 4 months worth of depression gone with just one look. And he has no idea" i say, flopping on the bed next to her.
"Kelsie, he seemed so happy to see you. Trust me, i would know! Ive been friends with him for a long time, and ive never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. I assure you that he feels the same way you do"
"but what if he doesnt? Hes the one that stopped talking to me, so that obviously means hes moved on. And hes not weird about talking to me. Hes completely cool and collected around me, and everytime he even looked at me i felt like i was gonna explode" i say sadly, putting my hands over my face. "Remember that promise ring he gave you?"
"Yeah, how could i ever forget about that?"
"That means something. It really does. He was completely head over heels in love with you, and you cant just move on from a love like that. Theres no way he doesnt feel the same way you do, TRUST ME. Hes an actor, so hes obviously going to be better at hiding it. Just give it a chance!" "I suppose youre right" i sigh in defeat "but if youre not, then i will drink bleach." Millie just laughs and loops her arm around mine. "Ill make you a deal. If im right, then i get to be maid of honor at your wedding. If im wrong, ill buy the bleach and well drink it together. Deal?"
"Deal."
Now here i was, standing on the beach with the girls, waiting to meet up with the others for what might be one of the worst nights of my life. Suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me, scaring me shitless. I pretty much screamed at the top of my lungs. Sophia fell over on the sand, laughing. "Jesus Sophia! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I said, kicking sand onto her.
"Sorry babe i couldnt resist!" She stands up and dusts herself off. "Mommy!" Jack yells, jumping on my back.
"Hello my dear child. Youre looking very spiffy tonight" i say, throwing him off my back. Jaeden wraps his arm around Sophia's waist. I wink at her knowingly, and she winks back. I sHiP. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and i am lifted off the ground and spun in a circle.
"Long time no see!" Wyatt says, putting me back on the ground.
"WYATT!" I yell, giving him a big hug. Looks like he grew like 10 feet taller too. Chosen steps out from behind wyatt "why hello!" "Hey!" I hug him too.
Im so happy to be back with everyone, but there's something missing. And right on cue, in walks Finn Wolfhard, looking as adorable as ever.
I give him a small smile, which he returns. Everyone rolls their eyes at our awkwardness, but I pretend not to notice. "Alright, so its about 8:00 now, and the fireworks start at 10. Lets go get some food" Sophia says, and we all follow her over to where there are multiple food trucks.
We stop at this cute little Mexican one, and i get a taco. I LOVE me some tacos. Sophia spreads out a big blanket on the sand, and we all sit in a circle on it. I sat next to Sadie and Finn sat down next to me. Great.
"So. How is everyones life?" Jack asks with a mouth full of food. I notice that his hand is resting on Ellas and smile. They had never really drifted apart, and i could tell he made Ella very happy.
"Eh same old same old. You wouldnt believe how much it sucks to share a house with these girls" Millie jokes. "Wait, do you guys live together?" Finn asks, looking at me, causing my breath to hitch in my throat, with just one fucking look.
"Yeah, we moved out here a few months ago" i say, avoiding eye contact with him. Thats something you wouldve known if you ever read any of my letters i think to myself, rolling my eyes mentally.
He seems suprised and just nods his head "huh, i didnt know that" i just shrug and keep looking at the ground.
We all talk for a while longer, then start playing card games. We were currently playing an intense game of BS,(which if you dont know what this game is, its fun as fuck so look it up) and it was between me and Jack. We both had one card left, and too bad for him, he didnt have the right card. I knew because Wyatt had been spying on him and held up 3 fingers to let me know that he had a 3. "One king" he says triumphantly, slapping his card onto the blanket
"And with that, i win!"
"BULLSHIT!" I say with a proud smile, crossing my arms over my chest. Chosen grabs the card and flips it over, showing that he had laid down a 3.
"FUCK YOU KELSIE!!" He yells angrily, collecting all the cards in the pile.
I smirk and lay down my 4. "One four" i say, daring someone to doubt me, luckily for them, no one does.
"I win cunts" i say, standing up and doing a little victory dance. I can feel Finns eyes on me, and it makes me self conscious, so i sit back down.
"Hey Kels will you come with me to get a drink really quick?" Sophia asks, and i nod.
We stand up and start to walk down in the direction of the food trucks, but before we reach them she pulls me to the side, where the group cant see us anymore.
"Whats up?" I ask, confused. "Listen Kelsie, Finn is still crazy about you. He never stopped. He literally would never shut up about you. Every free moment we had between shooting, he would spend talking to you. He missed you so much Kelsie, it was crazy. He was so sad all the time, he was literally depressed. He never wanted to go out and do anything, he only wanted to talk to you. Sometimes when he was sleeping we would hear him muttering your name. One night we were all hanging out and we were talking about our memories from the summer, and he got so sad that he left the room. I went to go check on him, and he was sitting there with tears streaming down his face, completely heartbroken over you"
i cant even process what shes saying. He felt the exact same way i did. He missed me as much as i missed him. "He has literally been a zombie for the past few months. He barely smiles or laughs anymore, he just stares off into space. Hes been so depressed for so long, and then today he saw you and he literally lit up. Like you probably couldnt tell because you didnt see him before, but it was amazing. He was almost glowing"
i cant believe these words. I feel a tear start to drip out of my eye and quickly wipe it off before she sees. "The last few months have been hell. He was all i could think about. 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He never ever left my mind. Ive missed a lot of people in my life, but never like this. I felt so broken and empty, like a piece of me was always missing and no matter what i tried i could never fix it. I would just sit in my room for days at a time and think about him and sit by the phone waiting for a text or call or anything. But the texts stopped coming. He moved on, and that hurt more than i can explain. I cant get attached to him and have him leave again sophia. I just cant. And while i want to believe everything youre saying about him, i cant. Hes the one that gave up on me" i say sadly, looking at the ground.
"Look kels i dont know what happened, but he didnt give up. He never did" "look, can we talk about this another time? I dont want to get all emotional" i say, changing the subject. Sophia smiles softly "sure" she throws her arm over my shoulder and we walk back together.
When we get back, everyone is watching Jack do some card trick. I take my seat next to Finn and avoid eye contact, but i can feel his eyes burning holes into my head. When i dont take the hint he taps me on the shoulder lightly.
"Hey do you want to go for a walk?" He asks quiet enough to where only i can hear it. The last thing i want to do is spend awkward time alone with him, but i nod my head and we sneak away together before anyone notices. We walk down the beach in silence, staring out at the ocean.
"This feels familiar" finn tries to break the tension with a joke, but it only makes things worse. Now I remember when we used to go for walks on the beach every morning.
"Yeah" i say weakly, sounding like an idiot. We walk in silence for a little longer, until we reach a log and Finn goes to sit down on it. I sit down next to him, looking up at the stars and not saying a word. "Listen Kelsie, i hate this. This awkwardness. Its not us. I know we kinda had a fall out, but i missed you more than ive ever missed anyone in my life" he spits out quickly. I feel anger bubbling inside me, for some reason his words irritate me.
"A fall out? More like one day you decided that you were done and stopped talking to me. It wasnt my fault at all, i never wouldve stopped talking to you if it were up to me. I wrote to you like every fucking day but i never got a response. And now youre saying you missed me more than anyone in your life? Trust me honey, you dont even know the meaning of missing someone" i snap.
"What are you talking about? Youre the one that stopped writing to me! I still wrote to you like everyday but you never wrote back!"
"No you didnt! I wouldve gotten the letters! And you can even ask my friends, they saw me writing to you everyday! It was completely pathetic, i was so depressed and all i could think about was you. They mustve thought i was loosing it!" I say angrily, turning to face him for the first time tonight.
"And you can ask my friends! I wrote to you every night when i was done shooting. Every fucking night! And then one day you just stopped writing back and never wrote back again! I was heartbroken Kelsie! Heartbroken!" He snaps back, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Dont talk to me about heartbroken! I cried myself to sleep pretty much every night! I stayed awake for DAYS at a time with my phone in my hand waiting for you to call or text or anything! As if that wasnt bad enough, i dreamt about you every night too!" I practically yell, standing up.
"Well im sorry for being so busy with the movie. I really am. But dont think that i didnt think about you ever waking second of the day. The director of the movie made me see a therapist, thats how fucked up i was. I couldnt eat, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt fucking BREATHE without you!" He yells in my face, standing up.
We glare at eachother for a good minute, then a small smile makes its way onto my face, and spreads onto his. Then we start laughing.
Laughing because were happy to be together again, laughing because weve missed eachother so much, and laughing because we were both so unbelievably lost without eachother.
