Sike
Finn was too busy staring at me to see the light turned red.
"Whoa hey the light turned red!"
Finn quickly slams on the breaks, and just in time too. A large semi truck goes barreling in front of us, and it would not have been pretty.
"Jesus" he sighs, resting his head on the wheel in relief
"Thank god you caught that kelsie"
I smile warmly at him and go back to looking out the window.
Its silent in the car for a few more minutes, but its not awkward or anything.
I begin to think back to what just happened, what mightve happened if i didnt catch it in time.
I could be dead right now, or worse, Finn could.
Its crazy to think that it all couldve ended in one second, just like that.
The car starts to bump around a little, and i realize that were driving on.. grass?
Finn parks the car, and I recognize where we are.
Were in the middle of a field weve come to a couple times before.
Finn gets out and lays a blanket on the hood of the car, then opens my door and helps me out.
We lay on the roof of the car, staring up at the stars and not talking.
Its really beautiful out here, and the stars are really bright because theres no other lights for miles.
He sighs deeply, bringing his hands up to rest under his head, tilting his face to look at me a little.
"Finn I-im sorry. Really, really sorry for how ive been acting lately" i say quietly, and its true.
I cant even describe how sorry i feel for what ive been putting them through.
"Back there, the whole thing with the car, it really.. opened my eyes. We could both be dead right now, it all couldve ended just like that. I never would've forgiven myself if something happened to you, and we left off like this."
He tilts his head in confusion, putting his hand over mine
"What do you mean like this?"
I sigh deeply, shaking my head a little
"I know ive been hurting you. All of you. I can see it. Im bringing all of you guys down with how ive been acting. I know im being difficult and i can see how hard it is on you. I just-I- I don't even know"
He laces his fingers with mine and turns on his side so he's completely facing me
"Kelsie you're adorable. Kind of fucking stupid, but adorable. How you're acting isnt hurting me, I know its not your fault at all, I completely understand it. What's hurting me is the fact that i couldve stopped it.
I shouldve gotten there earlier, hell, I shouldve killed him when I had the chance the first time.
The point is, i havent been a good boyfriend. I shouldve been there to protect you, but i wasnt. I failed you."
"No. No you didnt fail me. I failed myself. I made so much progress, i was finally starting to be okay, and i let myself fall back into the hole. I shouldnt have let this affect me so much-"
"Kelsie stop. What happened to you was not your fault, not one bit. There's nothing you couldve done to keep it from happening.
And you know what? You didnt fail yourself.
Here you are, apologizing to me for what happened to you. You are so, so much stronger than you realize you are. So much stronger. It amazes me how strong you are, even after everything thats happened to you, you keep going"
His words warm my heart, and i can start to feel all the fear fading away. I start to feel whole again.
"Im- im not what happened to me. Im not a victim. And im really tired of letting my story define who i am and how i live my life"
He smiles widely at me and pulls me up so im sitting next to him, leaning against his chest.
"Thank you" i whisper, closing my eyes.
"For what?"
"For helping me remember who i am"
I look up to see him smiling down at me, eyes filled with nothing but pure happiness and love.
"God ive missed you" he says softly, leaning his forehead on mine.
"Yeah" i whisper
"Ive missed me too"
He kisses me softly, and we lay back to look at the stars again.
"i want you to meet my family"
He says suddenly, breaking the silence.
I feel my heart skip a beat
"Wh-what?"
"My family. I want you to meet them."
I knew this was coming eventually, so i don't understand why this is making me so nervous.
"What if.. what if they hate me?"
He laughs at this, like genuinely laughs
"Stop laughing! Im serious!"
He shakes his head slightly, still laughing
"Dude, my family could never hate you. Ever. They'd absolutely love you, hell, they already do and they haven't even met you!"
Hes so fucking cute i cant handle it
"But what if they do? What if i somehow manage to mess everything up and they kick me out because they hate me so much?"
"Please, that would never happen. I mean yeah, youre a complete clutz but you could never fuck anything up bad enough to where they'd ask you to leave. My moms been like begging me to bring you home to meet them"
I smirk a little, raising an eyebrow
"You talk to your mom about me?"
He rolls his eyes, smiling a little
"Ha ha laugh it up. Sorry for being in love with you, i cant help it"
I laugh and reach up to mess up his hair
"Im messing with you. Thats fucking adorable that you talk about me to your family"
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, im going to visit them sometime next week, and I really hope you consider coming with me"
He looks at me hopefully and i shrug
"Yeah, sounds cool. Wouldnt want you to miss me too much."
"Damn, someones in a mood tonight"
He says, scooting away from me and i roll my eyes, pulling him back over to me
"Yeah whatever. You know you love me you nimrod."
"Do not" he says, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes too.
"Do too"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do too!"
"Do no- hey wait!"
This sucks actual ass im having major writers block so yeah heres this piece of shit. My ex best friend sent me a video of her making out with my ex boyfriend last night. Yippie.
