Words Of A Mircale

Life of A Miracle

Well when you get judged like me,
Sure it can change the way you think,
Who knew a boys dad would leave when he was 6,
And who knew that later that year he would experience di-,
Who knew he'd be judged all his fucking life,
And he would be put through all this pain and strife,
And it was him no one would Like,
This kid was given a miracle to live,
A hoop to jump through,
And this kid made it too,
1 lb 13 ounces,
5,376 hours in a hospital,
They gave her a gist of things,
When your kid comes out he'll be deaf, dumb, and blind,
I over came the fucking odds to live such a shitty life,
I mean they told me I'd be in a wheel chair and roll,
But I overcame that too to be judged by childish trolls,
I was see through or transparent,
So that in the future he'd lose one of his parents,
Sorry I backtracked,
I forgot I already addressed that,
I woke up with flashbacks,
Sleeping on springs rather than a bed,
Got steel marks all over my head,
And I remember when I was 4 I woke up and peed my pants,
Aww look at him saying "awe man awe man"
His grandmother loved him very much,
And this kid later in life urged for a woman's touch,
But not yet,
But that didn't stop it cause when I was 4,
A woman knocked on the door,
She did things to me I have never experienced before,
I was left home alone with a brother and a sister,
Mom was at work,
Everyone else had all left and I'm think what am I worth,
Dad came by later and asked where was everyone,
I shrugged my shoulders he played with my toes,
I giggled all so sweet,
But just you wait this kid is about to feel his heat,
Momma soon came home after dad left,
Saw us kissed us went to sleep,
I remember being chased by the geese,
I didn't want to give them bread,
And I remember when I went for a swim and nearly lost my head,
Well actually my uncle through me in,
But I was only 2,
Shit what could I do,
Watch the bubbles float up as I sank to the bottom,
Blacked out,
And I don't remember waking up,
When I was 6 my grandfather's brother lived with us,
Mother had a boyfriend at the same time,
Dad was already gone I felt that burn,
Asked him if he'll be back lesson learned,
Anyway I walked outside just to see mom's boyfriend kissing a different girl,
Told mom and I saw her hurl,
I guess that really rocked her world,
But mine us bout to be sent in a spiral,
Grandpa's brother came home drunk,
Called me in his room and he was lying on his bunk,
Shut the door,
I say hi uncle how was your day,
He tells me "shut up i hate that I have to see your face"
I put my head down and he puts his hand on my head,
Picked me up and layed me down on the bed,
Pulled down my pants and introduced me something cruel,
Showed me I was under his rule,
He touched me,
(Sorry I went into detail here,
And it really burns I'm shedding illusional tears,
One of the most memorable moments in my life,
Reason I'm possibly scarred for life,)
He looked at me into my eyes,
He reeked of beer and alcohol,
Something entered and I felt full,
It hurt alot and it hurt even more when it went in and came out,
I felt a sharp pain and for a while that was all,
I blacked out,
I'm in shock,
I need the cops,
I need help,
And soon reality hit,
I'm biting my teeth swallowing spit,
And I let out a harsh scream,
I'm thinking how could anyone do this to me,
I'm nice to everyone,
I don't mean anyone harm,
He continued and said no one loves you,
Yell all you want no one will come for you,
He said even if you tell your mom she won't believe you,
I'll do it to your brother and sis if you do,
I kept my mouth shut,
I wanted to leave and never come home,
I wanted to die and I felt all alone,
Drank hydrogen peroxide didn't do anything,
But a few weeks later he excreted waste on my mom's carpet and he was gone,
But the damage was already done,
I had lost he had won,
The next few years kids thought of me as weird,
I was trying to fit in but I didn't,
I didn't dress like the other kids,
Act like the other kids,
Want what the other kids wanted,
Yeah I still had the 4.0,
But what's that if you have a life you don't want?
What's that if kids don't associate with you sometimes find you weird sometimes find you nonchalant,
Weird skinny kid,
There was a little girl who liked me,
Her name was Sarah and I'll never forget,
She would kiss me all the time but I pushed her away,
She wanted to sit next to me everyday,
I was mean to her cause I didn't know how to deal with myself,
But it didn't stop her even if it caused her health,
She was around me sick and cured,
I love her to death for it,
But there was a day that came,
I never saw her again,
I never told her that I liked her,
Never told her anything,
I missed her so much when she left,
I was empty,
Has no interests in girls,
Has no interests in boys,
Just a teachers pet that's what they thought,
But little did they know I didn't have toys,
I had books,
And now little kids looks,
This is an accessory I had for a very long time,
Later my Great Grandmother died,
Went to her funeral and saw everyone cry,
And I vow to myself I won't cry,
I'll be the one to stand strong,
I'll take what the world gives me and stand tall,
Went to Texas experienced racism,
Only black kid in class,
Third time I felt like I didn't belong,
The nights were short and the days were long,
And all I had were my songs,
Few crushes,
Few rejections,
Few racist teachers,
Few detentions,
Came back to Kansas and was a different ball game,
Within 4 years 5 people died,
Funny i never cried,
Missed them but was considered a emotionless bastard,
It's true my dad didn't marry my mom,
But I did have emotions and my life was a sad song,
Middle school was nothing,
Until I dislocated my arm,
Entered shock everyone's saying it's okay to cry,
Exited shock and say I rather die,
Held my arm went to the nurses office,
Why aren't you crying is something wrong,
Showed her my arm and stayed silent,
My mom showed up and she was crying,
She felt her baby in pain,
Like I feel hers,
Over the years I've seen heart break after heart break,
The only thing you can't take,
Is the love of a mother who's experienced everything as her child,
When everyone else left she stayed,
To her my debt is paid,
When my arm fixed I was in high school and saw a girl who made my eyes cross,
Saw a girl I could share with,
And within 5 months she was gone,
I was lost trying to be found and we go to today,
A soulless creature writing his heart away,
Trying to find the bright side of everything,
Has a love who I call the same thing,
Tears fall,
Please applaud,
What you find hysterical,
Words that can be wearable,
A singer's words without being lyrical,
I've shared with you the unsharable,
Please everyone bow for
The life of a miracle.